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It is interesting to me that I’m not the only one feeling this new description of the GE/AHP is an epiphany.
This is the first time I understand that the GE is the part of myself I can see. And that explains something that really struck me from a previous lesson. There was a description there of achieving an ability to feel the feelings of others and receive in their vessels, (by bestowing to them,) with full sensation of their feelings and perspectives. At the time that sounded like getting some kind of super power of telepathy or becoming an empath.
But now I understand that is describing Gadlut. In Gadlut the entire partzuf is above the dividing line of GE from AHP. So the GE can SEE EVERYTHING. It can see its entire self. Of course it can feel the feelings of the others!
During a previous course I learned that according to my astrology chart, I should be thriving working in big groups of people. When I told my teacher that I feel more comfortable working alone or in very small groups, he mentioned that I was dealing with my Tikkun from a past life.
I more or less forgot about it and never dove deeper into this topic. Now that we have to work in groups in order to reach spirituality, I am wondering what this all means again!?
The way that GE and AHP were discussed in the lecture opened the door on my understanding a bit more. I felt like I understood before, but it really helped. Then going back and reading my notes I see, “The higher degree above desire is intention”. I also watched the related videos and two helped as well.
The thing is, I understand the material, but at this point I’m looking around and I’m looking inside myself for points of recognition. I’m observing my thoughts and actions and trying to understand these things inside myself. I’ve gone through this before, but it took from age 21-42. That was just me being pushed from behind and it was extremely painful. When I came to Kabbalah, I woke up and was made aware of what had taken place. Even now I don’t know exactly where I am or what is next. I do know that my past experience will help me in this process of figuring out what it means to go from the AHP, (desires for myself) to turning them into GE, (my intention to bestow onto the Creator). Also, because of my experience I have to question myself a second time, “Am I seeking correction and this path because I simply want to avoid the suffering from the past?” Sometimes I don’t know, so having others to work with will be amazing.
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