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My free will lies in my understand how to feel and be aware of myself and according to this facts I do refer to my outer world and whenever my outer world doesn’t give me a chance to open myself to learn and make decisions and do actions in my life they of course change me in a way, in my perspectives, thoughts, awareness and ideas, I feel forced, betrayed and disconnected from myself and that’s the moment where I make decisions to avoid, deny, disagree, reject and destruct whatever and whoever tries to shift me against my free will through manipulation, hypnosis and conditioning, what I experience by the way as a violence and hurt against my personal rights and I need to always find new ways to express myself securely and secretly, because I get followed through my life habits and skills and thoughts and actions etc and my free will is endangered whenever this conditions get violated. So my free will is actually not to lose my ability to have a free will to make good and healthy choices for my life and this state keeps me busy for eight years now and I can’t understand what it is, that people do deny my rights to express myself in my free will, for I studied philosophy, pedagogy, law and order, human rights, etc and nevertheless people especially in in my family former relationships, try to push me back into an unconscious state, they need to have in that for themselves, otherwise they would respect my development and personal growth. But they can’t, and they are on the opinion that they could do with and on me whatever they want, against my free will, against my well being.
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