Love is a quality, force and longing to fulfill the desires of others, which is directed from the person outward.
How is it possible to fulfill another person’s desires?
It is possible if we understand their desires.
If we have shared habits, thoughts and opinions with others, then we know how to fulfill them and express our love.
If we lack understanding of their desires, then we should aspire to have desires that are similar to those whom we love, i.e., to build an inner model that matches their desires.
Building an inner model through which we can understand the desires of others grants us the ability to give them fulfillment.
We can then understand our own feelings when we receive the same kind of fulfillment, so we know how to fulfill them.
In the wisdom of Kabbalah, such a state is called “equivalence of form.” That is, by equalizing qualities with others, we achieve a state of unification, and love is the sensation of that unification.