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But if only I felt spiritual shame! Is it really suffering? I don’t know. I have never been ashamed, I’ve spent my whole life making sure I never get to the feeling of shame. So, how I dress, talk, my profession, even what I eat follows the fancy of society. So that I’ll never feel shame, that I’m less than someone else – and it’s preferable that I’ll come out looking even better than others. But never less. That, I must hide from at all costs. So we never arrived a shame. The ego would first chose death. So, this is just to know that we’re lacking a reference sensation here. It’s enough to know that we live every day to avoid Shame because of its high spiritual root. On the way back to spirituality we correct ourselves so as not to feel the Shame again that we learn about here. The system is made so that we’ll achieve equivalence with the Light, and will have no cause for Shame because we’ll be bestowers like the Light, and not as receivers, the go between the two being the cause for Shame.
I don’t know about hell. We are in the lowest state that can exist in reality. But if I’m found in a state where the gap, the oppositeness between me and the Upper Light is revealed, then it truly burns, it’s intolerable like being in fire. You won’t stay in that state. So, then there is the Tzimzum (Restriction) over the desire; and that’s not bad, then I already need to open up the desire, just a bit, to start bestowing back to the Light. At least to start with something tiny.
But we’re not in such states yet. We have no Upper Light that we can perceive, we don’t perceive this force of bestowal, and so we don’t feel opposite to it. In fact, we don’t even feel ourselves to be so much in a Desire to Receive. We don’t identify our intentions in each moment. We just act, basically unconsciously each and every moment. So, you see, we’re exempt from perceiving any states such as are spoken of here.
If the same process started again starting from Shoresh, with Memories of what happened before, how would Zeir Anpin act differently?
My question has to do with the following statement from the Check for Understanding section:
“The Four Phases of Direct Light is both a process that takes place in the Upper World and a template determining all subsequent processes in reality”
Does this mean that we are to understand the Four Phases of Direct Light as a pattern that occurs both a priori (as a fact of the Upper World) as well as a posteriori (as a dynamic process in this world)? I am thinking of something similar to the order of operations (like PEMDAS) in algebra, which is both an atemporal algorithm of logical progression, as well as a temporal procedure that takes place in real time in the course of working out an algebra problem. Am I on the right track here?
Sorry I missed this. We have mathematics, laws of reality because these laws belong to some Upper, more inclusive law. We are its expression. It is above space and time. Time, even the physicists understand, is imaginary. So I can’t answer in those terms because all our time folds into this 4-letter-name that is above time and space. But it is also expressed in every part of the whole, like a fractal, and so throughout the reality, including that which is as if belonging to a moment in timespace.
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