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Hi SJE,
It’s ok to be lost with this material, it’s speaking of a reality we don’t feel yet, but which we can start to feel gradually.
Baal HaSulam writes in Item 155 of the Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot:
“Although they do not understand what they are learning, through the yearning and the great desire to understand what they are learning, they awaken upon themselves the Lights that surround their souls…Hence, even when he does not have the vessels, when he engages in this wisdom, mentioning the names of the Lights and the vessels related to his soul, they immediately shine upon him to a certain extent. However, they shine for him without clothing the interior of his soul, for lack of able vessels to receive them. Yet, the illumination one receives time after time during the engagement draws upon him grace from Above, imparting him with abundance of sanctity and purity, which bring him much closer to achieving perfection.
Therefore, if you have specific questions, we can delve into them and come closer to these matters.
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