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- Respuestas
In retrospect, I can see how multi=layered patterns of events throughout my life, (many of which involved various degrees of suffering), led me to this point of beginning this study of Kabbalah. Back in the 1990’s I was asked by an Eastern Orthodox priest whether or not I would be thankful if God would send me “the blessing of suffering,” (To this day the whole idea of “redemptive suffering” has never much made sense to me.) My reply to the priest went something like this: “Everything effect has a cause. I want to be blessed with the wisdom not to set in motion the causes of suffering in the first place.” It is becoming apparent to me that I am very well being drawn to Kabbalah to learn how to live from the level of causes, the root level. I am very thankful and grateful for this opportunity!
I have learned that I followed my desires to try and fulfill what the point in my heart has been yearning for and nothing I have pursued, up until now has been able to fulfill it in the most efficient way. I have allowed fear of suffering to be the driving force instead of seeking a purposeful life through unselfish altruism. I think I am beginning to understand the importance of surrender of letting go of what is not real and to be more conscientious about my intentions, desires and motivations behind each thought and action.
Spoilers ahead, deals with information found outside of class.
Even though I knew God was real before, now I am more sure, and am feeling profound awe. When I prayed and gave God an opportunity to let me know if I was on the right track by considering looking into Kabbalah, He responded in a very clear way, which I was not expecting. No response would have been acceptable since one should never test God. Instead, the response was very clear and happened eight times. I’m not a statistician but the odds of that happening randomly seems unlikely.
Then I find out that Kabbalah was written down hundreds of years ago. It is easy to believe that it was an oral tradition passed down and developed thousands of years ago, but it is also verified by how Genesis is symbolic of the sephirot (we haven’t gotten to that part yet in this class.) I have found out that other parts of the bible are written in the language of roots and branches. So again it is easy to see that this knowledge is at least as old as the old testament, thousands of years old. Thousands of years later, we see that science confirms Kabbalah as well, in various ways.
I am grappling with this revelation all by myself and just need to tell someone. Although there is some not so good feelings between Christians and Jews throughout history and today, I decided that it must be ok to take a look and see how the Jews interpret their own Torah, instead of just relying on the Church only for biblical interpretation and spiritual knowledge. And now I find out that Kabbalah is found all throughout the Bible and that Jesus was a Kabbalist. I feel devastated and sad that the Jewish people have suffered greatly throughout history. If the evil forces in this world had their way, Kabbalah would have been erased, and we would never know the full story in our lifetime and be able to do what we are supposed to do during our lifetimes. Of course I need to get over it since God is real and is in control and there is nothing to be upset about. Its just a little overwhelming. Hopefully this just goes into the void and nobody reads it all the way through.
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