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I feel like for the first time I understand that the movement to a higher degree is a gradual thing. It’s a change of state. So, there’s no way to say “We’re getting close.” I’m (and humanity) is either not “there” or is “there” (in the next higher degree). I can stop looking for positive signs now. I’m not going to see humanity or myself gradually getting better. In fact, I understand that things being so bad is the best harbinger of the jump. It creates a sense of peace about the world being SO MESSED UP.
I have this terrible impatience of wanting to be the butterfly without going through the entire process my ego says I want it all and I want it now. I know this is not possible and through faith patience kindness love altruism the steps will be accomplished through my intentions to be like our creator in love. It seems as if my ego is the Goliath of David to me.
It was really from our group Q&A Saturday, what helped me have a big shift…
Talking about how we grow from friction… Sunday, I had someone be quite rude to me, and I was really determined to send her love and maintain a positive feeling towards her no matter what.
My children were looking to me with “what do we do Mom ??” expressions, and I just said to them “come on, let’s all send her love”. It went on for a bit, and there were a few things she did, but then there was really a big shift in the woman’s attitude, and we were all able to enjoy the experience we were there to have, and I really had this wave of feeling like I could almost feel the Creator enjoying my pleasure. It’s tough to describe, but very amazing.
A couple of my friends are super shocked, and interested in Kabbalah now. 🙂
The two last paragraphs of pge 78 in The Intro readings summarize what “I’m” experiencing. And alongside those feelings/ sensations is the dispair of “not awakened” and “I” never will. Just want to share in case anyone else has experienced similarly ❤️ the desire for Spirituality is awake within me, yet in 1995 “the calling” was heard and the “seeking” part of me became conscious of itself.
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