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This story/experience that came and blown my mind:
Inside our 5-senses box with no other opening, we feel like in a barrel in the middle of the ocean.
Imagine that you were dreaming and just now you wake up and find out that all around you, outside the barrel, is only an endless ocean and nothing else. But you don’t know what this ocean is made of, it’s certainly not water, it’s something you’re told is the all-encompassing light you’ve never seen before. Of course, you would be terrified, horrified and would never want to get out of your barrel, not knowing what it’s all about and not being able to prove or probe anything.
However, bored and drained of life in the darkness of the barrel, you decide to do something and through a courageous effort, you make a small opening in the wall of the barrel no larger than a needle tip. At that moment something miraculous happens. A small ray of light from outside enters and you feel extraordinarily good and at peace for a moment. Once you come in contact with this light you begin to understand what that ocean is, but at first only as a vague idea, as a distant aroma.
Now you want to get out of the barrel as soon as possible. But you find that its walls are very thick, requiring some work, effort and understanding to break through. Once again you feel hopeless, disappointed and lost. But you remember the ray of light that entered the barrel and remember how good and marvelous it felt and you’re looking for it again. Rediscovering it lets Him enlighten you with His wisdom and power. And suddenly you realize that the barrel doesn’t even matter anymore, maybe it doesn’t even exist…
Well, I am not going to say it blew my mind. It brought me to truth about me, which is I like “receiving”. And I have little interest in bestowing……which is the result of trauma. When one believes they didn’t get the building blocks at birth, they have a tendency to believe “there is a whole in the bucket.” LOL With this recognition I acknowledge the EGO has been working overtime. SSo, it’s time for a reset…… I’ve nervous and ready to forge forward…..
LOOKING FOR COMMUNITY……
Understand that everything that happens, everything I see, all good or apparently bad situations, have as their sole origin the creator acting with kindness. In addition, the beginning of learning to start to seeing this unique force present in all situations of our daily lives, is even more difficult but no less fascinating.
I think the following song is a great way to start into this course. Perhaps somebody will enjoy.
Burning Fire by Camino: https://youtu.be/HG3llRIXAYA
The videos “There is None Else Beside Him” remind me of my favourite book from Christian Mysticism called “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence.
On his deathbed he says:
“I thank our Lord that you have received some relief from your suffering, for I know that this was what you have been wanting. I have been near death often. I have never been as content as I was then. Therefore I did not pray for relief, but I prayed for strength to suffer with courage, humility, and love. How sweet is it to suffer with God! However great the suffering may be, we receive it with love. It is paradise to suffer and be with Him.
If we desire to enjoy the peace of paradise in this life, we must accustom ourselves to intimate, humble, loving communion with Him. We must keep our spirits from wandering away from Him on any occasion. We must make our heart a spiritual temple where we can adore Him continually. We must watch incessantly over ourselves, so that we may not do, say, nor think anything that may offend Him. When our minds are focused on God, suffering will be filled with peace and solace.
In the beginning it is very difficult to arrive at this state, for we must act purely in faith. Even though it is difficult, we also know that we can do all things with the grace of God, which He never refuses to give to those who ask for it earnestly. Knock, and persevere in knocking. I assure you that He will open to you in His time, and immediately grant you what He has delayed giving you during these many years. Adieu. Pray for me, as I pray for you. I hope to see Him soon.”
He then goes on to say:
“God knows best what we need, and everything that He does is for our good. If we realized how much He loves us, we would always be willing to receive both the sweet and the bitter equally and indifferently from His hand. Everything that came from Him would please us. The most painful afflictions appear intolerable only when we view them in the wrong light. When we understand that it is the hand of God that dispenses them, and we know that it is our loving Father who humbles and wounds us, then our sufferings lose their bitterness. They even become sources of consolation.May all our energy be devoted to knowing God. The more one knows Him, the more one desires to know Him. Knowledge is commonly understood as the measure of love. The deeper and more extensive our knowledge is, the greater will be our love. If our love of God is great, we will love Him equally in pain and pleasure.
Let us not amuse ourselves by seeking God or loving God in order to receive blessings from God, no matter how lofty those blessings may be. Such blessings, however great, cannot bring us as near to God as one simple movement of faith. Let us seek Him by faith often. He is within us; do not seek Him elsewhere. Are we not rude and blameworthy, if we leave Him alone and busy ourselves with trifles, which do not please Him and may even offend Him? These trifles will one day cost us dearly.
Let us be devoted to Him earnestly. Let us cast away everything else from our hearts. He desires to possess them exclusively. Beg this favor from Him. If we do our part, we shall soon see the transformation within us that we desire. I cannot thank Him enough for the comfort He has given you. I hope by His grace to see Him in a few days. Let us pray for one another.”
A couple of weeks ago, after I received my COVID vaccines, He inspired me to “keep my gaze on Him, without asking anything from Him”. I was specifically inspired to “never ask anything from Him, but only to keep looking at Him”. Throughout the next two weeks, I felt incredible physical pain that completely took me apart. Still, He granted me the strength to keep looking at Him only. For this, He granted me the incredible ability to endure any pain without much suffering. After two weeks of constantly “keeping my gaze fixed on Him”, however, He established the sense of “having achieved great things myself” in me again.
Thank you for the article “There is None Else Beside Him”. It gives me courage to keep walking this path and shows me how easy it is to take achievements or even failures upon oneself. I feel how He constantly tries to establish in me the sense of “being proud of my achievements”, but He also granted me the ability to keep my gaze fixed on Him and relate everything to Him, nevertheless.
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