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I like to think that the events that happen in my life are the consequences of my doings, meaning that I could choose a different action. But knowing that everything in my environment influences my behavior and there is also the genetic component I believe I just play the part, but what is the script about? And what is it purpose?
I have free will in the choice of my environment which in turn influences (Or possibly improves) the other aspects of the work that I do not have any control over. The illusion can creep in when I believe I have influenced the Creator in anyway because He is the Lord and does not change (being that He is the ultimate perfection).
Looking back to my life events I discovered that when the events happened it felt like I had influence, choices I made, it felt like I did it. But later in hindsight I saw, that things just happened, that I had no choice. I got a feeling that ‘somebody else’ did all of it, that somebody else was like my higher self. And me, my ego, was angry, sad or hurt, but later I perceived it as something that had to happen to led me here to where I am now.
It was such a strange feeling, but I knew it was the truth. The events I’m talking about were things in me, desires, that guided me, I had to do them. After the ‘revelation’ I questioned myself: “Why did all this happen?”, and the answer I got inside of me was: “Because, you need to do this, learn The Truth. You got all your basic needs met just so you could focus on learning about Love.”
Maybe I’ll write about my jurney in more detail in some other post.
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