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Free will is in each Sefirot and creature. As human beings (Creatures) it is predetermined for us, that is when it is not real because we perceive reality with our five senses, everybody thinks their disconnected, it’s all about individual desires to pleasure our egos. When it is real its when we live and choose the balance (the middle) without gain or loss. Choosing to understand, connect, bond with the Creator without expecting a reward, only having the desire and will to bestow the light to the Creator and other Creatures.
I don’t know. I can only share where my contemplation lays at present. I wonder things like – i have choices in any moment which may or may not but most likely will lead to a certain chain of events and outcomes and so by making choice A – XYZ results and by making Choice B – XYZ results etc etc and so is it not my free will as to the choice i make and therefore the effect i experience and possibly how this then effects others around me? Or is it the creator behind even all of that and each decision? In my experience a lot of choices made come from programming and spells and set pathways in the body/brain until we consciously work at re directing said pathways and responses and sometimes it seems even with laser like focus and attention on trying to re direct and course correct it may be impossible to stop doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. Is it about having patience? Are somethings just simply broken? Is it about surrender? Perhaps in the end it is as said in regard to true authentic deep prayer to be as the creator intended.
I grew up in a hellish trauma driven situation which didn’t feel like free will to my tiny little body and being and yet in that there was always a knowing that this was not the truth nor way of light and that even though i couldn’t work out how so many humans could be so un loving and cruel and un kind and that there was a sense of it all being un real despite all the felt sense of pain. I had a knowing of the true light of god and existence, at age three i spoke to the creator and said – ok this is going to be a big one and i am going t need to to hold my hand to get through this one ( i return i promised i would help “save” the world!! ) so is this knowing our true free will as we walk this life and dance the shattered spaces back to wholeness?
I do agree and know that our environment is crucial in supporting our way home to wholeness and unification yet our deepest prayer is to be able to have a true and authentic sense of love for all others which i find difficult and a challenge every day as it seems hard to feel love for those that are hurtful or rude or disrespectful or cause harm. Yes i can and do practice seeing from a higher perspective and try to imagine what conditions brought them to such actions and try not to take it personally however in so many moments i also feel it is more authentic to move away from such energy or have a response that rejects such energy. I wonder the difference of being a martyr and having a genuine experience of love. I can say though even with those that were so cruel to this being for years on end something in this being has always been able to know forgiveness for that soul yet much free will allows me to decide whether or not i allow such people to remain in my field and therefore take responsibility for this self…..
I guess again it is why we prayer for a prayer – that deep prayer to love as the creator loves
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