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I’m having a really hard time putting words to this, so please bare with me.
I feel such an intense pulling towards Kabbalah, like I’m a dog on a leash, constantly distracted, and the human keeps walking, so I get my collar jerked often.
For more than a month now I’ve felt such a high level of anxiety and it’s pouring over into almost every part of my life… as if I’m living in a “bad trip.”
I listen to the morning and afternoon lessons with Rabbi Laitman and the world Kli throughout the day while I’m walking or even working (music certainly isn’t doing it for me like it used to anymore… other than songs from my childhood, but even that can make me cry) and there are times I will feel a sense of calm, but it’s almost immediately replaced with self scrutiny, for who am I to have peace when the whole world is in turmoil… and I can feel it like a pain in my chest.
Sometimes, my mind will go to the absolute darkest of places, especially when reading the news… I know that I’m supposed to see the world in it’s already corrected state, but I’ve got so much anger and hatred inside me. I used to have peace and was easy going, but I got taken advantage of often… I’m a father now, and I can’t live like I used to.
On the bright side, I am dreaming again… like I haven’t in years. In a way, I do feel like I’m progressing, but I feel that I have miles and miles, worlds and worlds to go.
My wife tells me there’s no point in worrying about the problems of the world when I have a wife and child that need me… but I can’t shake this horrible feeling that something is terribly wrong – I’m not even “trying” to think about anything, but I feel like a fool when I avoid the news and I can’t help but remember about all the racist, bigoted things my grandparents, aunts, and uncles have ever said… and I have a multi-racial child… it’s like I’m digging a hole that’s hard to come out of, so I end up napping during the day to “hit the reset button” in between jobs so my level of work is on point.
I don’t want to say any more on the subject, but I feel I’ve laid something of a backdrop for my question with that word salad… so:
How can we accelerate the coming of the messiah? Or, maybe, what is the difference between equivalence of form with the creator and peace? Should I seek peace or should I be grateful that HaShem is working on me and just let this run its course?
I’ll say this, just writing this out has given me some relief, but I don’t know how to feel about that.
Thank you for putting up with me.Hi Jarrett,
We go through many ups and down on the spiritual path. The main thing is to just keep going, to keep placing yourself under the influence of the light, especially during the Kabbalistic studies and readings, and the light will balance everything out.
As for the news, there was a time when Kabbalists, like Rabash, would regularly listen to the news (not anything political or opinionated, but strictly the news). Such a process would help them feel the world and build a relationship with the Creator. In our days though, the news channels have been turned into means of brainwashing. Because of that, Kabbalists don’t listen to the news in our days.
Check out this clip from Rav Laitman for more details: https://kabbalahmedia.info/lessons/cu/2HNYS0Sb?sstart=52m43s&send=54m39s&mediaType=video&shareLang=en
Albert @ KabU
Is it reliable for one not well versed in kabbalah to have a working spiritual sense such consciously traveling astrally or synchronization of events and clairvoyance and other intuition tools?is this spituality?for example knowing things without any previous knowledge or logic..and is it only love that signals the ascents or is there a particular state from which I can perceive beyond what I mentioned above? For example I am going through a period of just being kind, magnetic, knowing and understanding higher laws even the sod level of many ideas in everything I do?is it okay to see the future while studying kabbalah especially alone in Africa?am I safe in terms of getting proper reception or my attempt is a vain one in terms of reaching higher degrees which is my point int the heart since birth. I never saw life like others. I question even einsof without ending the query. How do I draw a line of ascent?
Hi Collen,
I cannot comment on your personal situation, but in general, there are many people out there who have a certain heightened sense, intuition, or feel the world differently. But can we really call these things spiritual? Since we see that even animals perceive the world differently. They’re able to tell when storms are coming, or have access to a higher or lower spectrum of light and see the world from these different levels. Other animals hear higher or lower frequencies and also pick up information from parts of reality that we normally don’t have access to.
These are all just heightened senses within our current nature, it has nothing to do with spirituality. Spirituality is the correction of our egoistic nature and the acquisition of a new nature, of the quality of love and bestowal. By correcting our nature, we become similar to the Creator and reveal Him in practice. This is what the wisdom of Kabbalah helps us to do.
Albert @ KabU
Hi! I have 3 questions !!
①”correct our egoistic nature” Does it mean ” be close to our creator mind” ?
②Why we have ego ? What is it use for?
③Why our ego is so distracting our mind ??
Hi Miho,
1. Correcting our egoistic nature means being close to the Creator’s qualities of love and bestowal. Keep in mind that it’s impossible to correct our own nature. Just like a PC cannot just reprogram itself to run as a Mac. We too need outside help to make this change. This help comes to us from the reforming light. All of our work boils down to extracting more and more of the light, especially during the Kabbalistic studies, and it makes all the changes on us.
Check out this blog post from Rav Laitman for more details: http://laitman.com/2013/02/sunbathing-in-the-rays-of-the-reforming-light/
2/3. The ego is the Creator’s loyal servant. The Creator gave us the ego in order to help us to develop towards Him. As we develop, our attitude to the ego develops as well. At first we see the ego as a good force. After all, it’s thanks to the ego that we develop on the spiritual path.
Afterwards, we begin to realize that it’s actually the ego that is preventing us from reaching the Creator. So we begin to search for a way to get out of it. But we realize that we’re powerless to do anything against it. So instead of fighting it directly, we begin to turn to the Creator for help. Throughout this process, we see that it’s thanks to the ego that we develop a true need for the Creator’s help. So the ego is a force that on the one hand separates us from the Creator, and on the other hand, brings us closer to Him.
Check out this blog post from Rav Laitman for more details: https://laitman.com/2016/04/pharaoh/
Albert @ KabU
Hi Bradley,
It’s the same laws, only in Kabbalah, we learn how to use these laws internally, on the level of our desires. Each law, although it seems like it’s talking about our world, is actually talking about the internal process by which we extract the light to correct our desires.
Check out this blog post from Rav Laitman for more details: https://laitman.com/2010/11/spice-up-your-desire/
Albert @ KabU
Google translation of the question:
What is the difference between Kabbalah and religion?_____________________________
Hello,
Kabbalah is a practical method by which we can correct our egoistic nature. As a result of this correction, we become similar to the Creator, to His qualities of love and bestowal. As a result of that, we reveal Him in practice, in our lives here and now. In other words, Kabbalah is not based on faith, but rather it’s a scientific method.
Check out this blog post from Rav Laitman for more details: https://laitman.com/2011/01/kabbalah-and-other-sciences-philosophy-and-religion/
Albert @ KabU
Hi Karen,
The 613 desires that we are learning about are spiritual desires, meaning desires that we don’t yet have. This is similar to how a single cell in a body only has some basic desires. But when that cell is part of a greater body, it reveals there higher desires which are impossible for the individual cell to have: desires for money, honor, power, etc. Same with us, until we integrate with the general body of Adam HaRishon, we don’t reveal or understand these 613 spiritual desires.
Check out this blog post from Rav Laitman for more details: https://laitman.com/2008/12/all-you-need-to-know-about-the-613-desires/
Albert @ KabU
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