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Hi Seth,
Even asking the upper force to change the way i think and feel, so i can perceive the thought of the creator and see everything as good. Is this not also asking him to change his attitude towards me? since God either would or would not answer my prayer and ultimately its the creator who judges my prayers and decides weather or not to reveal himself to me. Is that not still a self centered attitude towards prayer? That im still pleasure seeking even in the worst circumstances even if its just to feel the satisfaction in understanding the creators mind in why things are being given?
Because of course if i did pray to understand and immediately understood and saw the good in everything i would always just pray and understand right?
My connection to God feels flickery, staticy, like trying to hear a radio signal through static. I always seem to be caught off guard, and i always feel like im missing the point.
Oliver,
Of course it is still, as you said, self centered. But this is the process we are on. It’s like you’re a kid and see someone play guitar and you say, wow, I want to do that. So you get a guitar and it feels impossible, you’re fingers don’t move the right way, everything sounds bad, but if you do the exercises that the experts do and if you do them correctly for a few years, then one day, you can close your eyes and fly on the instrument.
You picked up the guitar on day one and you’re like, “why doesn’t it sound like that guy I saw playing on the stage, it still sounds like I’m a beginner”.
Oliver, how long would it take to learn guitar, how long would it take to be a master plumber or a good doctor? So why do you think that achieving your soul is going to happen after 10 minutes of speaking to the Creator?
Be more serious about this. This is a method that takes time, years.
Of course if feels flickery. Your body is asking for food, water, some comfort, and you need to give it otherwise it won’t work and we are absorbing thoughts and desires from the society around us and we inherited all kinds of tendencies from previous generations, so of course the signal is coming in “staticy”. You are not missing the point. You are doing the right thing, you are simply not understanding the process you are in.
If we were on a mountain top learning kung fu and you had to carry water for 5 years in the cold rain, you’d be asking the same question…how does this have to do with kung fu, but there you’d see the masters around you who have done what you are doing and you see what they achieved.
Here, we are all virtual and we don’t have anything physical to rely on like that. So be patient and keep investing in reading the materials and turning to Him like He is your closest friend and tell Him to open your heart and bring you close.
Seth@KabUYes, well ive never been dedicated to anything in my life, so i cant say i really know what that means. Ive never really been serious about anything in the same way. My passions are always initially strong and burn out fast, weather its been trying to learn a language, or instrument, or learning about philosophy and religion even down to my sobriety and spirituality.
I always get discouraged. Like it says in the freedom, its like my internal calculation for pleasure always comes in a deficit, and so it seems like nothing is ever worth the effort i put in. Theres always a feeling of self-pitying hopelessness that washes over me, when i start a new venture. My hands are too small for the piano, im too stupid to really understand japanese, its never really specific, like i just have some sort of unknown quality that makes me incapable of success in anything i pursue. So i use the evidence of lack of immediate results and the frustration of slow progress as an excuse not to press forward. In lieu of things that i know from experience provide me with immediate pleasure, namely drugs and videogames, alcohol, entertainment.
Im blessed in that, the only person i every really lived for was myself, and somehow i destroyed my life. I grew up to be a 36 year old man-child with many aspirations and no real accomplishments, and still sometimes the only force motivating me forward is just not wanting to live my life the way i have been before i decided to pursue this path again, wherever it may lead.
And though ive been going through many changes i can see i am in many ways the same person and that change takes time, and progress will be slow and arduous at times, and i know i should be taking things more seriously. Its an aspiration to be a little bit more patient and a little less reckless, and to put in a little bit more effort. Though i know its not good enough, i pray i can just keep moving forward and find greater levels of willingness to do the work.
Is prayer composed of words, feelings, or both? What should I say or feel when I am praying? Also, can you give me a specific example of a daily prayer? Thank you.
György,
The best is if we could pray all day, to remain in contact with the Creator all day.
Whether you feel it or not. Certainly when you feel it, take those opportunities to turn to Him. When you don’t it is more difficult to remember. You can compose prayers based on what you want, try it. Speak to the Creator like He is your closest friend and lover.
If it helps you can open the book of Psalms by King David (the general Malchut of Israel) or the Jewish prayer book that is composed of Psalms and other verses that the sages (kabbalists of the previous generations) arranged for these purposes.
Seth@KabU
We learn that to get closer to the Creator, we need to exclude the ego, Yes, I understand that.
By falling asleep I can have my thoughts very clear of resolving some problems from the live, I see the answer clearer. Is that Him showing me the path?And I had an experience in life when I felt into a “bubble” – I was walking along the unit at the hospital I work into and hearing a voice inside me, but not the voices of my co-workers… That voice has been telling me general things in live, as: “Don’t stop and speak to that person, you are passing by now… the child crying a front of you is hungry….” I could feel the love of his grandfather towards that child…
And then when I flipped a magazine, that voice has been telling me that you don’t want to be like these famous people on the picture, because they are living a life of sacrificing to be who they are…
And then the voice has been saying: “ why you need all these houses for, or all these material stuff in life ? Money has no value…”
I did manage to write down all what the voice told me and was a lot of writing…
When that influence in my head stopped, I realized that everything I wrote was the essence of our life and a path of love and clear directions …
I strongly believe that was Him talking to me, but so intense.
How can you explain that?Thank you!
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