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I have a question regarding „breaking through to the spiritual world“.
First, I want to set my intentions straight. Since I am not yet in the Graduate Environment, I can only try to piece together what I have learned so far. My egoistic desire is „desiring to know whether a certain experience would be considered ‘breaking through to the spiritual world’ by Kabbalists“. Now, if I try to invert that desire into its altruistic form, I will post my question, so that others can know the answers to it. Additionally, I will not read the answers because I want to give my fellow students the opportunity to know whether my experience was indeed ‘breaking through to the spiritual world’ and if it was, then to give them the joy of knowing that it only seems scary from the egoistic perspective, but that it is actually really beautiful.
The Experience:
I had quit my job and did not know how to pay my bills, what job the Creator wants me to be in etc. I was really scared about becoming homeless, but I figured that if the Creator wants me to become homeless, then He has a good reason for it. Also, I figured, if He wants me to become homeless, then it can’t hurt to enjoy at least a last good meal in a restaurant.
So, I went to a nearby restaurant, purchased a good meal and sat down to enjoy it in the garden outside of the restaurant.
On the opposite side of the street, I saw a beautiful girl in front of a church door. She seemed homeless and she seemed to be immersed in an intense prayer. It felt like she prayed to Mother Mary or some comparable female saint.
I could see that she had created a strong energy field around her because all the people that were passing were suddenly thrown out of their monotony, looked at her irritated and then crossed to the other side of the street.
From experience I knew that such a strong energy field can only be created, if the person has been praying without ceasing and with utmost intensity from the bottom of their heart for quite a while.
Suddenly I felt that the energy of her prayers shifted towards me. Suddenly her prayers seemed to pull me. I then thought that I cannot ignore even a single person that prays so intensely and truly from the bottom of their heart.
I looked in my wallet and found 10 Euros. „At least I can give her the 10 Euros“, I thought.
I then grew restless and worried that she would „give up at this crucial moment“. So, I aborted my meal, paid in a hurry and went straight to her.
On the way to her I grew incredibly scared. „It’s just a human connection“, I thought to myself, „no need to protect myself from human connections. After all, haven’t I been praying for this all the time?“
When I approached her, I did not know what to say, so I just stood a meter in front of her until she noticed my presence and opened her eyes. In this moment the sun came out and shone onto my back and onto her face.
I handed her the 10 Euros, her eyes grew wide and she stumbled with a foreign accent: „Thank you“.
In this moment I saw God. Later I became convinced that I saw God through her that day and that she must have also seen God through me that day.
I recoiled in horror and basically ran away. Then I prayed in my thoughts: „I had to give the 10 Euros to her. How could I not, if you have given me so much in my life?“ and I started crying.
I reflected on this experience for a couple of days. Why did I suddenly see God? What happened?
Eventually, I came to the conclusion that the act of giving my 10 Euros to her came from a pure giving intention. Yes, I contemplated whether I would go up to her because I was so scared, but the intention behind the act itself was still pure.
Then, I felt that it is impossible to arrive at that state again by my own efforts. After all, I would just be doing it, so that I can experience this beautiful thing again. How could I not want that?
Anyway, if this experience was indeed pure and considered „breaking through to the spiritual world“ (even if just for a few seconds) by Kabbalists, please tell my fellow students, so they can get a clearer picture of what it means to „feel yourself outside yourself“.
For me at least, posting this question feels like I can finally leave this „petty little contracted thing called ego“ inside of me behind. I do not have to worry about it so much anymore. Much less do I have to worry about trying to somehow satisfy or fill it. It is a pointless task. Let’s just leave it behind (said the ego.)
However, I do need to know whether I am on the right path here and doing something good for my fellow students or whether I am trying to „feed steak to a baby because I like steak so much“ and therefore actually hurting them. Therefore, I will post a second question asking whether I should continue like this or whether I am already getting confused and straying from the path. Reading the answers to that second question will be feeding my ego, but I still have to do it. God forbid that I hurt other people by trying to help them.
Hi Niklas,
There’s a lot to try and respond to here, but first of all it’s important to have a job and sustain the needs of your body and take role in society where you are part of the system of give and take. You need to be able to have your necessities that the animal body requires – food/shelter etc. Without the necessities a person can’t engage in spiritual work as the body will demand attention for that instead of being able to adjust your attention towards what’s outside of your body – others.
You mention you were giving money and helping others. This is great if this is your nature and you have this inclination, but in no way is this something spiritual. Spritiuality is above matter, it’s in the realm of intentions. What we do with our arms and legs in this world has no effect in spirituality. What we do in this physical world will certainly bring us different discernments about what spirituality is, which is helpful for people who haven’t yet discovered the wisdom of Kabbalah, but if you have found the path (meaning if the Creator brought you here) it’s a sign you can already begin engaging in the truth of the matter. You mature in the right environment of like-minded individuals who also want to attain the goal of becoming like the Creator and rising above the ego where there’s no need to continue experiments about where spirituality might be in other places.
It’s a difficult thing to remember and hard for many to agree to. The ego enjoys giving to others because it gets something out of it in return. If the pleasure is felt in the ego, it’s the opposite of spirituality. Hurting others or causing others harm is really just harming ourselves in return, we just don’t see it immediately (otherwise no one would do it). If you want to go a step further, you can say that we’re all harming each other by staying in our ego since ultimately even if I’m not doing anything wrong directly to others, I’m still existing in manner that takes from them without giving. This is in relation to the system of nature as a whole. That’s why the next step in human evolution is for all of humanity to take this direction of working for the sake of the whole since this is how all of nature exists besides this most developed and egoistic component called modern humanity.
Be well,
Chris
Thank you very much for your answer 🙂 (I read the answer to this post nonetheless because probably it is a bit premature to try applying the wisdom of Kabbalah practically. Feedback is very important to me because I have the tendency to fall into “faith below reason” instead of “faith above reason”. Let’s avoid that.)
I realise now how entangled corporeal actions and intentions are in my story. Back then, it was only half-clear to me that it is only about the intention and never about the physical action. However, in this particular instance, something truly extraordinary happened. My physical action happened with a pure intention of giving without calculation for self-benefit. At the very least, for about two seconds.
You are right, however, that it is not so important to analyze this experience anymore because I am with you guys now and I will find out, if Kabbalah delivers on its promises.
As for the “physical necessity” part. I do have shelter and enough money for normal life right now. The Creator kept me above water back then by giving me an unexpected large sum of money through the stock market. I tried joining monasteries etc. but my heart simply wouldn’t let me. Now I realise that it was all to prepare me for Kabbalah. Since I can be quite passionate I needed to run full-force into various different directions, think about life myself and try out my various theories. When I found Kabbalah, I was very relieved to find out that none of this fasting, homelessness etc. is necessary.
Now, I am in the process of rebuilding my life step-by-step. Yesterday, in “Kabbalah Explained Simply”, Lio gave me the advice to establish a bit structure and routine in my life again. So this is where I will begin.
hi
i road in a kabbalah book that we must bestow our energy to other always
when i do it i be sick and tired a little
it’s because i do it more that my capacity or it’s fault at all?
Hi Humehr,
That’s a great observation. We are incapable of thinking of others, this is our nature and no one’s fault. It’s exactly how we were created. We have no force of bestowal within us, this is the thing we need to want and ask for.
When you try, however, and see you’re incapable, this is exactly the deficiency you need to turn and ask from the Creator for the strength, but without trying and making those efforts each time, you won’t come to that realization and you will not be in need of the Creator. He’s waiting for us only to ask.
Thanks!
Chris
Hello teacher! My question is.. is it normal to fear final correction? And how does one overcome this fear? Thank you for your time.
Hey Ty,
I responded but I don’t see that it appeared here, I’ll try again….
It’s normal to feel fear towards anything from within the ego since fear for the ego is the sense that it will lose something, that it will need to sacrifice something since of course, the ego gains nothing in spirituality.
Spiritual fear will be felt as something completely different – a fear that you will not be able to bestow and do good to the Creator as He does to us.
Thanks!
Chris
Hi Ty,
Any fear we feel at this stage is only in favor of the will to receive. Meaning the calculation is it will lose out on something, need to sacrifice something that’s dear to it. Spiritual “fear” can only be that I’m unable to bestow to the Creator like He bestows and does good to me. Therefore, however we imagine the final correction within our ego at the time being is really only fear from within the ego which is certainly justified since the ego gains nothing in spirituality.
Thanks!
Chris
Hi Humehr,
The tree of life, meaning the diagram if that’s what you’re referring to, is just a diagram showing us the order and the concatenation of these different forces – building blocks – of the soul.
If you want to “use” them, then you need to build these qualities within you by making yourself more and more similar to the upper force, the quality of bestowal. If you can build these qualities within yourself, then you’re building your spiritual vessel with which you can bestow to the Creator like He bestows to the creature. This is equivalence of form.
Thanks!
Chris
From the further reading: Week 3: Attaining the worlds (page 98-118) At the end of the chapter: “Perceiving ourselves as beings that were created means perceiving ourselves as being separate from the Creator. Since our egoistic nature causes us to instinctively withdraw from anything that causes us suffering, the Creator uses this to lead us to the good. He removes pleasure from the material world that surrounds us and awards us pleasure only through altruistic acts. This is the path of suffering.” I am confused… is this not the path of light??
Hi Zealot,
The meaning here is that if it’s done on the side of the Creator to push us and advance us on the path, it’s done by removing pleasures i.e. suffering, and the only pleasure, at the end, would be in the form of altruistic thoughts.
The contrary would be if we would want this goal from the beginning and ask for it without needing the suffering to push us from behind.
Thanks!
Chris
My question is what is Zion to kabbalah? Before discovering kabbalah ive only ever heard negative explanations of Zionists. Thank you
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