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I am blown away by the thought that anything could be better / more fulfilling than strawberry shortcake with whipped cream and sauce…..(just kidding 🙂
More seriously, this lesson really got me thinking about self-worth, & critically questioning the delusion that one is only of value when one is constantly giving to others, people pleasing etc. Because now, it seems that’s just being stuck on the egoistic shame-based levels where the creature refuses to receive anything from the Creator. The next higher level is when you start to let a bit of the Light in, knowing that Accepting the Light is valuable in and of itself because it’s living up to one’s nature  & serving the Creator’s desire to bestow. So that was insightful.
What I also personally find valuable in this is that, unlike the 10 commandments (there’s another #10!) where the instructions are (a) half about the relationship between humanity and God, and the (b) other half about the relationship with one’s fellow humans, my understanding of what Kabbalah is trying to communicate here is that it is also important to not neglect cultivating a more enlightened relationship to oneself. Denying one’s own fundamental human needs is not the higher path. Rather, just adding a filter of spiritual intent onto that (in order to attain the ultimate purpose of bestowal) is the higher path.
What gave me a new perspective was that the thought that people change according to what ‘fase’ they are in going toward Malchut. It made me realise that I can have expectations of people which people cannot give. But I am also in a ‘fase’ that i need to receive it. It might sounds strange. But for me something suddenly made sense.
The notion, or understanding that there is a path that leads us from darkness to light, from ignorance to conciousness, from unreality to reality and that we only (only?) have to feel the need to choose for that path.
This was beautiful visualized in the lesson by the reshimot (remembrances) of former inner states which can lead one back on the track (the ascent)., from where we came. Indeed back to the future.
I am nothing but an intellectual animal who is indebted to God and God expects so much from me. I feel sad because I feel that I’m not doing my best enough and it’s really demoralizing. I realized how minute I am in this whole cosmos. Just like a specter of sand in a heap of sand. Just like a thread in a woven sweater. I feel insignificant but my hope is that I am part of something bigger and God needs me to comprehend that fact and adjust myself to receive 100% so as to give. I’m blest.
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