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The related videos at the end of the lesson are always hitting the spot. We have free will, but not in the physical reality, in the spiritual reality. it is our job to begin to choose the right internal environment.. Which is actually impossible because we don’t actually choose our thoughts or our deeds, but in the attempt to reach towards “the light”- it’s as if we summon a good environment. What is occurring is that a filter is being created that will allow the future Kabbalist to be able to perceive the love that is all around or “surrounding” them.
I’m not sure if this is on topic but, while I was doing my reading, a bit of a metaphor came into my head. The idea of a balloon that gets inflated inversely. You have an uninflated balloon and somehow a needle managed to prick it from the outside. Suddenly, its being inflated from this small spot, and as it gets bigger and bigger I start feeling better and better. But, its not just air that’s coming through that point, its light as well. As the balloon keeps inflating, the space within it becomes more and more dark, because the only bit of light that’s coming through is from that one small hole. As the deficit becomes more noticeable, I find that I can’t stop the balloon from inflating, and I desperately want it to be filled with light, not just air. Suddenly, even with all this new space around me, I find that I desperately cling next to that one point where the light is coming through, hoping to find a way to make it bigger. The darkness inside that inflated balloon is terrifying, and where I once took pride in it getting bigger and bigger, now I just wish that it wasn’t as dark. “There is none else besides Him”. Sure, I have the freedom to go and traverse all that darkness, but all I want to do is cling to that one ray of sunshine, like a moth to warm light.
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