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Hey Rune,
You’re touching on a point of work where Kabbalists tell us that we will enjoy from the work itself – the work being asking the Creator for correction as we recognize each time how we’re unable to make an action of bestowal. We must have these thoughts which show us our oppositeness and it’s upon this darkness we’re able to see the light. Without those moments we’d feel nothing of what bestowal actually is. It must be against the illumination of darkness.
Of course after some time on the path you’ll begin to default to, “this is the Creator showing me this reality”. It’s just a thought that comes. From there you’ll start putting the pieces together and find how to relate to that instance correctly knowing there’s no “one” to blame, rather the Creator who is showing you how you still don’t see how He rules the world benevolently.
On the contrary, you should be glad when these thoughts come since it’s the Creator relating to you and awakening you giving you a chance to relate and react correctly. This is how He builds us. Nothing was created redundantly and there’s no “wrong” thought. All He wants you to hear and see has only to do with bringing you closer to correction.
Best of luck!
Chris
Hi Danielle,
Kabbalah has no opinion on the subject since it only engages in the correction of a person’s inner qualities. The externality is not the matter of correction at all. As you progress in your study, you’ll pay less and less attention to your external world just because it becomes less important. This doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary or you should disregard it in any way (you’ll come to see how to correctly interact and relate to the outer world when you begin correcting your inner qualities) but it just means once you have something more important, eternal and endless that shines for you and that’s what you define as “life” and not these 80 years in this body – you relate to it differently.
At the same time, you can’t go “against” yourself, and there’s no reason to. Just like you’ve done you’re whole life, you’ll continue to make decisions that bring you more pleasure and less pain. The calculations you’re asking about will just be more of the same, but it has nothing to do with Kabbalah and you won’t advance more or less in relation to it. Do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn’t hurt others 🙂
All the best!
Chris
