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Though Kabbalah appeared to me while I was asking questions about how to be the best version of myself (for reasons of achievements) – Kabbalah will now reveal to me (as a continuation of that search) the best version of myself. I thought the plateau of my individual humanity was body, movement, and appearance. Some time after that, the propensity to be liked or regarded, then some time after that, the ability to improve the lives of those around me. I realized the bar kept moving. I was missing something fundamental at the root of purpose. There appeared in each arm of study and experimentation, repeating patterns and foundational elements that applied as a sort of structure to undertaking any different one of these goals; Those appeared to be gross depictions of some yet subtler details.
The bible has each of these experienced truths and more in a sort of extreme and permeating presentation. But the bible is really old! Well existence is really old, and a framework of that existence, older yet. The stories and gems within the bible characterize me better when I was younger and less so as I am older.
Kabbalah will reveal the best version of myself at the oldest times of ever. Thank the Lord (Creator) for it.
It seems to me, that as a father of children, and a husband to a wife, I have shackled, in a way, this group of people, to a “world” as they have shackled themselves. I observe that they don’t know that they are in this world because they were born into it or so much time has passed. I see that there is quite a bit of pain for those, including myself, living in this shackled world.
I have tried to correct behaviours and actions using words, example, and rules; none of which are permanent. I turned the focus towards myself – and applied the corrections inward with the same result – that is no good result. The physical level of force cannot change anyone. The social level of force cannot change anyone. Even the mental level of force does not appear to affect lasting change.
This world is within a world. So, if I can lead my family unit to lasting “happiness”, I can lead myself to lasting happiness in the world. I have achieved many things on the basis of health, wealth, and publicity. I say, I will do this now, and I can do it, and do. Yet still, at home, perfection alludes us. It must be said then that my goal, perfection, is quite lofty, nonetheless; All these achievements in the Earth.
I take this responsibility, because for some reason, I feel like I have something to give. But when I do, I don’t apply it properly, or there simply is no good result.
Everywhere I go, everything I do – there are patterns that can be constructed into a single pattern of success to which anything can be achieved here. None of it is new. Carpenter, manager, entrepreneur, athlete. It’s all the same.
I had many dreams as a teenager seeing a person touch my father on the shoulder and his struggle vanishes, and likewise touch my mother, whom is now passed. Just a simple touch on the shoulder. I give no weight to the dream itself, but the possibility lingers. I think it, so it must be.
I want to find the one source of the pattern. I want to give my family and therefore my world perfection.
