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Jasmin,
Totally normal and I’m happy for you.
If you are already angry at God, that means that you have a relationship with Him.
Look around, no plant, no animal, and most people are not having such a personal relationship with Him.
Now, let’s not lose the passion that you have, this emotional power, but let’s start to organize some things so that you develop in a more accurate way.
It takes a long time for dust to organize and develop, to be burned and frozen and squashed and stretched before some small particles arrange themselves into the first living cell and then much more time until plants develop and much more time until those pieces keep smashing and burning and earthquakes and fires and ice and time until some particles fit together in new ways and emerges animals and so on and so on until our ancestors climbed down from trees and started making houses and planting crops and then more time until just a few thousand years ago when someone finally said, “Who am I? What is going on here? What is the purpose of my life?”
So first of all, if you got to that point, you’re the vanguard, the tip of the spear of all of creation, so congratulations.
Now, what do we do from here?
Understand who you are and where you came from…there is much more to the story, most importantly what was before the dust and why this whole process, and we will learn about all of that in detail later, but from where we are today, start to understand that it’s not a small task to create a creature and to raise it to become like the creating force itself, to be totally selfless and endlessly loving, actually eternal in its properties.
Imagine you have a dashboard for your life, like a dashboard in a car, that measures your vitals. All the pain in our life is a measure of our distance from where we want to be.
You don’t have free will, you do have free will, these are just words right now.
Start with what is in your hands to do.
Write down in your notebook what you want from life, what you want from this path and understand that you found a place and a method to help you reach your spiritual goals.
If you are angry with God, write that down too. Tell Him why you are angry and what you want Him to show you.
He won’t change from this exercise, He is eternal and only bestowing, but this exercise and prayer in general calibrates us to His frequency.
Good luck and looking forward to hearing about your progress,
Seth@KabUYasmin,
There are a lot of religions, 1000s and each one has its own beliefs and some of them are very corrupted so we are not talking about them. We are talking about realizing the purpose of our lives.
As you study the sources together, we are learning that there is a force of bestowal, some force, we don’t know what it is yet, but something enlivens all of reality, lights every star, makes every heart beat. And on the other hand, there is all of the rest of reality that receives that life force, grass receives the light to grow, the animal eats the grass, we eat and drink, etc, all of reality is a receiving force, some receive more and some less, but every bit of creation is receiving something from the bestowing force in order to be sustained.
Kabbalists, are very precise. They describe to us our state in this world and why creation is built the way that it is and we will learn about that more later. They tell us that while our material body must receive to sustain itself, in our hearts, we can aim to be giving, like the giving force.
In this is the secret of creation, to transcend time, space and limitation.
Seth@KabUCalvin,
Let’s look at a child who is playing outside with his friends.
Does he feel like a slave? Does he know that his parents are watching over him, protecting him, preparing dinner for him, washing his clothes for him, scheduling the dentist appointment for him, getting the car ready to take him to school?
No.
The child feels free. He doesn’t feel like a slave or that he is being controlled. But that is because his perception is small. But his mom and dad are taking care of everything in his life.
So it is with us. We don’t feel the upper guidance and this is on purpose. Like this we have the opportunity to develop our feelings towards the Creator.
Nothing is in vain. Everything is guided and on purpose and directing us to the good future.
Seth@KabUHai,
Assiyah is also a spiritual world, and there is not time in spirituality. In spirituality everything is always.
Our world is at the bottom of Assiyah, but there is a boundary that we are under and that changes our perception.
You are correct, about similarity. In our world, we can bring two material things close and say they are close, in spirituality, things are close or far depending on their “quality”. If one is in bestowal and the other is in bestowal then they can become as one.
Seth@KabUDave,
This desire develops through envy, lust and honor.
I bet you weren’t expecting that answer. We’ll talk about it more later.
In the meantime, understand that as a human, we absorb desires from the others around us.
We see some shoes on another guy and we want those shoes.
We see a vacation advertised and we want to go there.
We see a car drive by and we want that car.
We see a house painted a certain color, we want our house painted that color.
So, we are made this way on purpose.
Now plant yourself in an environment that will advertise to you the greatness of the Creator and you will develop to want it it, to become it more and more.
Seth@KabUAnthony,
This is normal and this is how it works.
Like walking, left and right, left and right.
When the light fills, everything is clear, everything makes sense, in that state I can give praise and gratitude but in that state I don’t have a true prayer because I feel the illumination of the light.
Then a person is emptied and he renews himself and has what to ask for.
Seth@KabU
