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Ok, thanks, and one more thing I didn’t mention, I feel enormous pressure from the inside to study more, to spend more time reading, watching lessons and videos, neglect all on the outside, like whatever I do it’s not enough, and I am stretched, because I feel like I am losing balance with corporeal life, and find myself questioning each corporeal action “was this really necessary? I could have studied that time instead doing this…” so I sometimes feel quilt, sometimes frustration and sometimes I am just devastated that I didn’t do all I could and that is why I will never bla-bla… is this also normal?
I had this nagging feeling for a while since I heard that reaching the Creator can only be done through the friends and I scrutinized a lot, so it crystallized to a fear that I have that somehow the friends will leave me, or they would just disappear, or something will happen like the Internet will crash forever and I won’t be able to connect to anyone and I will be left in this limbo forever. And that actually doesn’t allow me to completely surrender or open up to the friends and keeps me in a loop. The more I pray to the Creator to liberate me from this feeling, the more intense it becomes and more tangible. What am I doing wrong?
Thanks in advance!
Rav often says that no corporeal action bears any merit to the spiritual advancement, yet several times he also mentioned that it is good if we visit the graves of Baal HaSulam and Rabash at least once in a lifetime. I am confused, does any corporeal action have any significance or not?
Thank you in advance!
But I do feel shame, and I was devastated to realize that I am completely helpless and lowest of all, even wondered how such a low life can exist, not even worth the attention let alone saving it!
Thank you Gianni! For me, the only science in the world is mathematics, and everything else is based on it. So, I need to keep going until I get to the scientific part, I guess, like in mathematics, you first learn all the axioms and various rules, until a point when you start understanding and applying them…
