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I am sorry if I got the wrong channel to ask, but please write the date, instead of This Saturday, on the banners, as it seams that is not correct, Julian’s workshop is not today (at least the zoom link provided doesn’t work for me). Thanks!I have this dialog inside me and I need your help to clarify it, Gianni, please. If I started to learn Kabbalah for all the wrong reasons, certain frustrations I have from the corporeal life, and it seems like I cannot get rid of them in the work; they are coloring everything I hear or do, corrupting my work, and my frustrations are so strong I don’t even notice them many times, how should I scrutinize this and make progress? If I was in your Ten, how would you help me see and overcome this (especially the inability to notice them)?
Thank you in advance!
In light of the question, who am I, who has ego? The body? To what is the ego “attached”?
Thank you in advance!
Ok, thanks, and one more thing I didn’t mention, I feel enormous pressure from the inside to study more, to spend more time reading, watching lessons and videos, neglect all on the outside, like whatever I do it’s not enough, and I am stretched, because I feel like I am losing balance with corporeal life, and find myself questioning each corporeal action “was this really necessary? I could have studied that time instead doing this…” so I sometimes feel quilt, sometimes frustration and sometimes I am just devastated that I didn’t do all I could and that is why I will never bla-bla… is this also normal?
I had this nagging feeling for a while since I heard that reaching the Creator can only be done through the friends and I scrutinized a lot, so it crystallized to a fear that I have that somehow the friends will leave me, or they would just disappear, or something will happen like the Internet will crash forever and I won’t be able to connect to anyone and I will be left in this limbo forever. And that actually doesn’t allow me to completely surrender or open up to the friends and keeps me in a loop. The more I pray to the Creator to liberate me from this feeling, the more intense it becomes and more tangible. What am I doing wrong?
Thanks in advance!
I am sorry if I got the wrong channel to ask, but please write the date, instead of This Saturday, on the banners, as it seams that is not correct, Julian’s workshop is not today (at least the zoom link provided doesn’t work for me). Thanks!