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Taking into account not only our desire but also that of others. I think that in this way you can expand your Kli so that it includes the others Kli, whose desires you consider. And the will to bestow creates more space for the will to recive, so you receive more as your Kli expands, but so do the others. All with the intention of bestowing.
Before Kabbalah i did something for 20 years, I truly enjoyed it for the self. It was probably the most selfish thing I have done for even more than 20 years, but prior to finding Kabbalah I gradually got more and more mal adaptive to it. It all started about 5 years ago. Since I was a child i loved to just play and imagine play, and then play became easier with the advent of computers in fact one’s imagination became one’s playground with art and many other things. I was obsessed with my hobbies but a few years prior to learning what Kabbalah was my hobbies were not enough. I could no longer sustain my desires to fill the self with pleasure from the things I know for a fact completed me at one point and time. Now all that will complete me is reunification with the creator. Nothing else will ever do and i think even when I was in my hobbies that was always sort of part of the goal. What doesnt make sense about it all is, I dont understand what happened. One day i was content in self absorbance and one day my hobbies started making me tired. I know now from studying at Kabu basically this was a type of development. But it happened so sudden if i hadnt found KabU i would have just stayed depressed and miserable. I have tried to get back in to some of my hobbies (im currently trying to draw something again and even though im not an artist i love to create art) and i just cant pull myself away from Ba’al Sulam’s writings or these courses.
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