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Hello My given name is Michael. Id first like wish you all Good Luck on your studies. I Have been studying Many forms of the truth for many years. I was apart of another kabbalah study group and attended a congress. I seem to have the worst relationship with learning on the earth. I was cutting school bye the third grade and always had a very big problem with my reality. I did graduate from high school and did some college but all the while i was screaming BS inside. I am a VERY sensitive person and can feel more then i want. It has gotten worse over the past few years and i Know Much. I feel stuck and or trapped, On the surface i live a pretty amazing life that many would envy, But inside i have been Very suicidal. This last year i have screamed as loud as i can for the universe to delete my soul. I don’t want to come back or exist anymore ever. The pain is to great to continue, I have lost my desire to be among other beings period. I am considering finding a cave to wait out my life. For some reason i feel if i was to take my own life i would be stuck in a worse sort of limbo. It is as if I’m under some sort of spell that prevents me from being able to find purpose, truth and freedom. I didn’t continue with my first kabbalah group because my patients for reading and having 100’s ah ha moments for content i ah ha’ed in my youth. I’m looking for the course for empathic type of people. Is their a feeling class of some sort?, as i get furious with speed of information from reading. Maybe i was some horrible thing in a past life or something and I’m suffering now from that, All my life ive been picked on and abused for being different soft and sensitive and it has taken its toll. I am complexly ready for death. I have pushed away all human contact except one neighbor. I have recently been attempting cleaning and charging but its just not fast enough. Is there some TSW out there that can straighten me out quickly? Or maybe point me in the right direction. I am fully prepared to sacrifice myself for the greater good if need be. I can afford to come to Jerusalem if that is needed. THank you for the read and any suggestions.43
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