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I am beginning to understand how the will to receive & the will to bestow works between us & the creator. I desire to receive more knowledge through Kabbalah so my will to bestow will grow towards the Creator & the created (the cosmos). I have a long way to go, but with the help of all these excellent teachers, I hope my understanding will become clearer.
The challenge is that when I think about persistently asking for altruistic intentions, my stomach turns. It feels unnatural and wholly undesirable. However, I believe that altruistic intentions are the ultimate destiny of Creation – Creation will desire and develop altruistic intentions. At this point in the journey, to cooperate with this course, I can desire to desire altruistic intentions. So, that is where I am.
I am beginning to understand that I can accept my desire to receive. I don’t have to fight it or feel guilty for it. My work is to desire to receive without thought of myself. As I try to create that intention for the desire to receive, I evaluate it to learn how close or far I am from the Creator. Even though, up to this point, I have uncovered egoistic intentions in operation for every desire, the desire to have an altruistic intention, nevertheless is the work. I am learning how to incorporate this thinking in my daily life, and this gives me hope.
I loved the example used of Flatland, as it made me trust I can get to sense another reality. What I feel now is that trusting Kabbalah can be the method to take me there, I can already feel life is not chaos or randomness, but that there is an order… something I have needed to feel since I was a child and questioned the meaning of life for the first time. With all the material and videos I’ve received here I feel so not alone! Thank you for your great work!
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