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As difficult as it sounds and I am sure we are going to find it challenging, it is as Dr Laitman said the key to the bridge to attainment of spirituality. The thing is it can’t just be for my benefit alone but a benefit for all. Eventually for all humanity. It’s this desire for harmony with nature and equivalence of form with the Creator.
To shift from the egoistic perception to the quality of bestowal is to go against our nature as created beings. That involves asking the Upper Force to make us similar to Its quality. When we face the fact that actually it’s impossible for us, then the prayer arises as a cry for help to the Creator. This prayer is always answered, according to the Thought of Creation. The Creator wants to fulfill wholly, and the maximum of joy is possible only in the state that we are similar to the quality of bestowal. Then we merge into the Creator because we are of the same quality, so we are the same. That’s the law in the spiritual world.
We can’t receive the Upper Light on our own. We need to build the spiritual vessel through love of the friends, to love the friends as our own selves, to feel their needs as our own needs, and to look for their fulfillment before ours. When we connect ourselves from that point in our hearts, the Upper Light descends from the Upper World and fills us.
Our mind works by the program of the shattering. That’s the reason that we can’t connect with each other by our means. The mind and the thoughts are always looking for my own satisfaction, to fulfill my egoistical desires for my sake alone. The desire in the created being goes evolving and growing through some stages, in the still, animate level, until some special desire awakens, a desire for spirituality. The development of the point in the heart by the 3 means (the book, the Rav, and the friends) reveals to us our own evil nature, and we understand that we are not able to overcome the desire to fulfill ourselves at the expense of others on our own. We see our own evil, that, in fact, we don’t want to unite with others, that there is hatred between us (the action of the shattering of the one soul). In order to unite we need to rise above reason by asking together for help to the Upper Light. When we unite this desire with the same desire in the friends, our hearts interconnect and wire in a net that allows the Creator to fulfill us as one heart and one soul, because in wanting the good for the others we are becoming similar to the quality of bestowal.
It means to feel  empathy for others. To be really interested that the other person makes progress towards a state of peace and plenitude. Connection arises from a genuine desire to understand and be able to help our fellow in his search for his true Self. Connection is a flow state , one acts spontaneously yet tactfully and without erring..  Instead of judging we understand expand our own sense of Self.
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