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In Attaining The Worlds Beyond, Rav Leitman writes, “Why, then, is he Creator silent in response to human pleas for relief? …people are much more concerned with their own progress than with glorifying the Creator. Thus, their tears are empty, and they leave this world just as they entered it, with nothing.” These words penetrated me so deeply, and I had the shocking realization that nearly always, underneath my seeming love and devotion to God, underneath my prayers to be emptied that I might be filled and serve, was a limited, self-serving interest. Wow.
I took my twice a day 2 mile walk that I use for meditation and prayer. I was listening to the different song birds the aroma of various plans and just felt so much closer to my surroundings and as I thanked The Creator for bestowing each of these I became more and more aware, in a humble and intimate way of my world around me. I felt something that is tough to put into words.
Many years ago I took a trip to wherever I ended up, camping along the way. On stop was a primitive campground called Echo Park in Colorado. Google it 😀 It was a great place for introspection. I was 21 years old and had been raised in an evangelical Christian home. I was in the process of sorting wheat from the chaff of my faith.
I remember sitting on the bank if the Yampa river at Steamboat Rock and I asked The Creator to allow me to see “his” hand in nature and the world as I went forward in my life
Those few moments on that river bank are among the most precious in my life. I have returned to them throughout my life but these days I am retired and have more time to examine my world and reality. I think of that experience frequently. I very much feel that what I am learning in Kabbalah is a system to experience the hand of the creator (as I had asked) in the most profound way possible while in human form
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