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The problem is that I need to learn what bestowal is. I have to build the ability to be in that. The best starting point is to try to be in There Is None Else Besides Him in everything one does. You can read about what that is, here: http://www.kabbalah.info/eng/content/view/frame/31686?/eng/content/view/full/31686&main
Hi Mary,
There’s no such thing as suppressing my desires, and you’re correct that it won’t work anyway. A desire is a desire – it can’t be destroyed. Other desires can be made more important such that they diminish the importance of another desire. So, it remains as it is but I have atop it some other, more exalted desire. I need to try to make my spiritual desire more important than all physical desires, and then I will see that this is the key to the intention that I would be able to add to all my desires. This is way more serious and dedicated a study than it might sound at first, as this is the entire wisdom of Kabbalah and all that we’re here in this world to do.
About your specific corporeal state, there’s nothing to say because corporeality at that level has its own laws, only some are wilier than others. For example, do I need to change my behaviors to suit what I perceive to be their ill-at-ease with my modes of interaction? I don’t have to bend to their will. BUT – if I’m in the workplace, I’d be well-advised to consider doing so nevertheless. If I’m with my family, I’m basically in my own bathwater – whatever mess I make there, I’m in that mess. Same principle to a lesser extent on my street: If I throw trash over the fence at my neighbor, they will probably do it back to me. So, this world has its own laws. Some people understand them better than others, but they are certain laws as much as the laws of atoms and anything else. Kabbalah doesn’t help in that area of what is basically just “street smarts”.
Kabbalah deals with the level of intentions where if I have correct intentions then my actions will all be correct and perceived as such by those around me. However, changing the intention is – again – the entire wisdom of Kabbalah rather than being something that I already have in my toolbox to be able to do by a superficial thought process.
For the sake of the Kli (vessel), which in its corrected form is called Shechina, in which the Creator can dwell.
The difference is that we don’t get to decide if we can receive or not without shame. Instead, the conditions under which we could receive and not feel shame have been predetermined. And we will not feel any Light in our Vessel, ever – unless we are already in equivalence of form with the Upper Light. Meaning I need to already be in an intention to bestow to Him. Otherwise, it is just guaranteed, from Above, that I can’t make any mistakes. I can make mistakes, but they won’t result in Shame. Shame is something that we do not know. It’s never been felt in our world (even though everything we do is to avoid it). It’s not “sharing”, as you say – that’s a concept formulated in a way that it is as if egoists can start bestowing right away, in their egoistic Vessels. I’d discard that idea and start over. Realistically, it’s not going to work because that isn’t the approach to the Upper World. I need to first head towards bestowal. To do that I need to learn what bestowal is and where it’s possible. Later, I’ll learn how I can use my Vessels in the direction of bestowal, while my current vessels (1) Can’t be used to bestow, and (2) are also not considered Vessles of reception and therefore I don’t need to feel bad that I am receiving in them. They are considered receiving in the sense that a cow is receiving grass and water. I am not even dealing with real pleasures yet. Because I do not know how to deal with real pleasures yet. If I do what I should do in the state that I am in, then I will be trusted with real pleasures.
To tell what state I’m in, I have to ascend a bit above this world. But Kabbalists tell us where we are – in the last degree after falling gradually to greater and greater desires to receive until the point where there’s no Screen over the desire, which means no Light, no pleasure. There’s just a bare minimum to keep us alive as no one can live without pleasure. This pleasure is so tiny that it’s not considered receiving. I can’t bestow by it. It is not the pleasure intended in the Thought of Creation, it’s just sustenance to keep us living until we will learn what the meaning of life is and the method to reach it.
