[Lyndon]

Dear Team,

How do I ever come to it, I mean, the arrival at a prayer for the friends imbued with power sufficient to cross the barrier and extend beyond my ego and reach the goal?

Simply wishing, earnestly wanting, thinking of your friends powerfully so, continual striving all seems so futile.

I’m concerned that all such endeavors, which I undertake daily, simply fall foul and become nullified and worthless.  Worship, superstition, knowing things by rote, simply repeating things, carrying out worthless actions, making offerings and so on, all lead to a stagnant way with no progress.

How do we ensure that we do not fall into this modis operandi while thinking of the friends and yearn so strongly that we are actually progressing for them, when in actual fact, such thoughts and wants and wishes are  invalid as offering a bowl of rice to a deity or any other worthless action in truth?

Thanks, Lyndon S.

• This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by Lyndon.

[Lyndon]

I cant take anything in here, it doesn’t mean anything, i am stuck can you put it to me another way.  Thanks.  Lyndon S

[Lyndon]

Dear Kabu,

All this reading,  studying,  thinking and pleading is preparation so I’m hanging on to what i have learned Rav, Friends and the books.

This crushing feeling is so strong  and relentless, in a word, its a state of desperation.

I can’t do this,  i don’t know what I’m doing,  i want to run away from it all (spirituality) to the point i wish l didn’t have this burden and just had my base desires to worship, end of.

I’m hanging on strong but it’s awful,  I’m hard on myself so i have a little time off from it all and try to lighten up because this work is so serious and i need to be thankful for my tiny spark.

I constantly fidget, waste time, doubt and worry i think  i cant ever do this in the first place and, this thought is so crushing to me, i mean, if a can’t progress and  overcome im done for.

Its awful, I’m sorry to pour it all out here, i know kabu isn’t a support program but, is what i put above familiar as per what students go through.

Thanks so much.  Lyndon S.

If im too gushy sorry.

 

[Lyndon]

So then, I have a subconscious  desire or link with all these atrocities and vilenesses in the world and as such they lay potential in me?
If so:

I could do all of it too and,

I am responsible as the next man regarding this in the world and,

I can’t insulate myself from this world as i could descend to such depravity

 

[Lyndon]

Can you expand on this a bit please.  Subconscious is not a term i have come across within the remit of Kabbalah?
Thanks so much.  Lyndon S.

[Lyndon]

Dear KabU Team,

My question is, I can attribute a lot to my ego such as greed, anger, pride, materialism, obsession, hate, jealousy, getting-ahead and so on.  All these failings are in the ego, I see that.

But, there is another something in man which is pure evil and not seated in the ego as it is 100% evil including his ability for murder, rape, war crimes, torture and these atrocious things which are not in the ego.  It is as if one’s ego is the tame little brother to this ability for unspeakable evil, if you follow.

There is never any reference to this 100% evil  in man the nearest we get are the 2 angels  ‘the good and the bad’. I want to know does Kabbalah group together all the above listed as from the ego and include man’s pure evil as I am confused on this issue?

Image one: characterizing the work of the ego

Image two: characterizing the work of something much more sinister [100% evil]

[Author]

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