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What if your ten feels very shattered and disconnected and all your attempts to unite them are met with misunderstanding, indifference, and down right annoyance? People seem even scared to communicate for fears of being wrong or upsetting someone or what not. Then it is met with frustration from me which then leads to more indifference lack of communication and what not. The more I do the more I care increasingly leads to more disconnection. I feel as if I am in a position where for my own well being the only option is to gradually come to care less and less about the group for my own well being.
My question initially is why have bad things started to happen to me after starting the study of Kabbalah? I would like to evolve that question to be: Why since studying Kabbalah things have happened in my life that are not just challenging but epically challenging and coming out of the clear blue sky. Things that make me constantly question my relationship to other people, government, society, nature and on and on. Questioning who I want to impress and why. What do I want in my life. What are these systems actually accomplishing and what they are lying about and what is my future going to be it is unclear now and on and on. So what do I make of this?
Why are we always worried about corporalizing spirituality, but not working on spiritualizing corporality.?
How does one craft their immediate physical environment to remind one’s self of the importance of the goal?
