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Sorry , Gianni, I had hoped there would not be any more questions for the next few weeks. But then I listened to the morning lesson, and I re-read what you had been answering yesterday, and I thought about the ten, and about how to start off. What really struck me, was , being still at this „amoeba level“, right at the beginning, how can we truly start working in a ten? Now, if there was an experienced ten, and they wanted to advance, they would probably meet at the desire to love of friends. And even then I suppose it would ask overcoming of the will to receive in form of frustration, anger, ambition or whatever else might be in the way. But at the beginning, many will naturally probably be still so concerned with this change. Itś like when you arrive at a holiday place or you have just moved… and you feel like you have to arrange everything, claim the baggage, make sure things are settled into place, trying to find orientation in this new surrounding. I feel, at this state, even when trying, it seems almost impossible to overcome that natural egoism. So, what do we have to agree on? Naturally, there are so many motifs, but most of them lead back to the amoeba state – The wish to change oneself, Curiosity, Ambition, The wish to connect for onself – Any of this will just be „amoebic“… trying to incorporate the others for oneś own sake. So, is it like we simply have to accept that, ignore it more or less, and aim our actions towards the others first, and hope that mind and heart will follow (otherwise I dońt see how we can get out of this natural egoism in this beginning phase). It truly reminds me more of a psychological trick, like one that would be used for depression, when you ask a depressed and isolated person to still go outside, meet others, excert social contacts, because otherwise there will be no fuel to combat that battered heart and that neurochemical imbalance. It works often enough, but people are right to say, it is still a trick. But do we use such tricks in Kabbalah? To trick our minds and hearts through our actions? Or is it the other way around, that we simply have to learn to form a proper intention, and whatever we do in this virtual world, it needs to be carried by this intention, and if we dońt have that, we will remain a singled out amoeba trying to eat up everything that is around it and it is better to remain very careful with our movements or reamins still even, until we really feel the right intention (or what we can perceive as such in this state)?
Gianni, THANK YOU so much for all your answers and your patience. Also, thanks for the analogy of the amoeba… just thinking how much they like to incorporate things, I will take time to digest it and learn through practice. I start to understand why it is a practical wisdom.
Adding to this, because it might not be clear, what I am asking… If you have to make important decisions, or what seems important in corporeality (because it is just a glimpse, and most likely not important at all in a bigger picture), still, how do you turn that to the creator? Do you do so at all ? I understand, we dońt need to ask „favors“ from a natural force… and everything comes from above, even our doubts, thoughts and considerations, or any insecurities… so it is not the point of prayer… but is there a space for an inner dialogue, or a request to make the decision according to what is best for everyoneś developement? Or do we simply accept those insecurities, make a step, and see from there- assuming that if everything comes from above the creator will lead us in any case, (and use our cognition to do the best calculation). I understand the creator is EVERYwhere, but in this everywhere, how should I consider him?
Hi Gianni, there is one thing that keeps being in my mind and heart. I understand that the work in the ten is like a cell for spiritual development, and that the YG gives us the tools to learn how to work in a ten, and progress, and that basically in the ressouces all the wisdom is layed out. So then, all is there. But what is the purpose of corporeality in this? I heard three opinions- keep it separate OR stay in contact with the creator all the time (including corporeality) OR consider anything corporeal to be just a basedrum of existence – needed but not giving the tune. I understand, the place to grow and work is the ten. But, where is the place of the creator in daily life? How can I best relate to it or how do I know when to switch between the three opinions?
Hi Gianni, Thanks so much. I understood that it is necessary to keep praying in those dark states, even when my demand or yearning is out of anger or despair, even when there are no friends. I understood, a prayer out of habit cannot doesńtwork, as there is no deficiency behind it. And that really makes sense, but at the same time I fear, that if I pray out of darkness, doubt and anger, it would be the same thing. In a state of total disconnection, I would not feel anything then, anymore. Still, from what I learned now, the deficiency and the plea in this is recognized, it is not an „empty“ prayer“, and therefore it could be answered, is that right?
I dońt want to dissect everything, itś just that I really try to get a clearer picture, so I dońt have to be afraid of getting „swallowed up“ by that darkness, darkness…and I know some states can feel very dark. I am longing for a picture I can understand, so I can leave behind the idea of „wrong“ or „useless“ prayer or being „beyond the point of no return“ in a state of disconnetion.
Therefore, this last thing: I understand the creator is a natural force, and because that is so, I understand, this force replies to a deficiency. I understand we are not talking about „favors“ and „belief“, and I understand that those deficiencies are necessary in order to come into contact with the creating force, and that they can be so strong, that they leave all the other impressions behind. But HOW can this deficiency lead to contact through prayer?
Is it like with diffusion or electric flow… where the flow of particles always directs into that compartment of lower concentration of particles ? So, here, the light directs to the void simply because in that void there is a lack of light, that naturally needs to be balanced out? But diffusion can happen everywhere, if permeability is given. So, is all the pain we go through, to make as „permeable“ for the light? And eletric flow is given when the circuit is closed. So – what is the prayer then? A switch to start the process? And staying with electricity, the pain is there to lower our resistance?
Ok, sorry if this was just too long. I have re-read it, and shortened it much as I could. I am more than happy for this chance to ask questions. So thank you :-))
Thanks so much, it is helpful. Now, and this is not theoretical, because I have been there- what if there is no ten, no ressources, and maybe not even understanding of Kabbalah? I understand, the creator is with us, all the time. But both that darkness and , once you have had the chance to learn, the „fear of loosing faith“ (i.e., if I understood correctly the „fear of God“) feel so opposite to faith above reason. So what would be left then, when fear or pain cut down any possible faith? Can a prayer still work then? When you dońt believe in it, but maybe want to?
