Share something from the lesson that you found insightful, or share your impressions from the exercise.

This all makes great sense! When you think about it, the way we “naturally” approach living with a partner is really quite absurd! Two self-centered people decide to try to live together thinking that their desire to be in a committed relationship and doing what they saw their parents do will be enough to live happily ever after. They then proceed to try to get the other person to change to give them what they want, recognise their brilliance and want to follow suit! The parental example of course includes lots of bad practices and advice, picked up from their parents and society. It turns out to be the blind leading the blind! The simple truths presented here explain why this is doomed before we even start living with another, why now half of marriages end in divorce, why young people (sensibly) don’t want to get married, etc. I can completely attest to the impossibility of changing another person and the near-impossibility of changing myself. That I need something above the “natural me” to do so. And that the family is the smallest pod where I get enough direct/immediate feedback to test different behaviors and hone in on what actually works, and then begin applying that to other relationships once these new relationship behaviors have become habitual. Sounds easy, but takes true commitment and persistence. But so does mastering anything in life!

i am constantly changing for the better more accomodating and less reactive

I was abused by ex husband, so this lesson flash back my memories and it hurt.

we tried this but did not work at all.

Whenever I feel like I need to communicate my dislike of something to my child, I first say it to myself in the mirror. This helps me to not say anything too harsh or hypocritical.  Most of the time, I just end of telling my child about how I was going to criticize him about something and then I realized how the judgement was with in me because of some past trauma. It still open the conversion, but with deeper meanings because I get to share my shadow work revelation.  In the past, we would just yell at each other, hold resentment, and never build a healthy relationship.  I am so grateful to be awake, conscious, and becoming a better person for myself & my children.

dank voor dit  inzicht,  elke verandering  begint  bij mezelf , evenwicht in een relatie  is nodig,  liefde   is geduldig en  helpt ons groeien naar elkaar

I find myself becoming less demanding of my partner to change and focusing more on what I need to change to become a better partner.