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Oh, my. I felt that feeling of giving up. But I am still here because of my life for the past 12 years or so. I knew that everyhing that was happening to me was not for a doctor to fix, I knew that it was something spiritual. I had come to a point where nothing could fulfill me. But precisely at the moment when I had given up on everyhing I got a feeling of something else, but I didn’t know what it was but I chose it. Then came the books. Literally came, I wasn’t looking for them and finnaly I came here. BTW, I was on kabbalahinfo site about 5 years ago and nothing resonated with me, but now, oh my, oh my, now. This is the real thing.
I am not studying for myself, I am studying because I have to. There’s no giving up for me. I’m not going back to ‘that’ life before.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I’m determined to learn this material because I feel there is something important here..even though I get a headache from the terminology being used. I know it can be explained more plainly but I need to learn it in on its terms first. Peh de Rosh de guf de masach de zon de keter de bitush de tanta de zivug de hakaa de ab de galgalta de blahblahblahblahblahlahblah….it really agitates my ego and now it’s war.</p>
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