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Lately I find myself observing how persistent my ego is in my daily life. The further I go into the readings, lessons and listening to videos of Rav Laitman and the other teachers, the more I feel the need for connection in the group in order to evolve. I am painfully aware of my limitations in even having feelings of wanting to recieve in order to bestow…feeling quite empty and ready to expand in the Creator’s plan.
As many others have said, it seems we (the current bunch of students) are ready to take the foundational lessons we’ve learned and begin working in a small, focused group of like-minded people.
On a side note: as time goes by (particularly the last week or so), I’ve been feeling more and more anxious and irritable. I haven’t been able to focus. I’ve been feeling more and more fearful of the future and, as a result, often losing myself in an idealized fantasy of the past.
After studying Kabbalah for a while now, I have little doubt that this is all a desperate attempt of my ego to resist the changes that are coming, to resist the Surrounding Light that is working on it.
It’s been difficult lately, but I just have to ground myself in the true reality that is the Creator and His plan, and keep walking the path.
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