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Preparation Question: Starting a new course in Kabbalah is similar to a fetus moving on to a new trimester. The warm and fulfilling womb is still the same, but the desire and needs of the future human are evolving. Before we start the first week let’s set our expectations. How do we want the womb (Light) to influence and evolve us? What do we desire to achieve in this semester?
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I would like things to “click” a little more, but mostly I would like to feel closer to the Creator to know that He is working on me, I guess that is what I mean by “click”. Yet I don’t want Him to move to quickly because I fear Him. I want to be able to be secure in what is happening around me and the world by trusting a 100% that He is in charge and that all will workout the way it should.
How do we want the womb (Light) to influence and evolve us?
There’s actually 2 parts to this 1 question. Who does ‘us’ refer to? It could be us individually or us collectively. I want to individually reach out more into the collective us, to help us all get more of the “Light”, to “influence and evolve us” all more into the state we are meant to be in. It’s a process we all want to learn individually and collectively. It’s about “connection.” That word that Julian said we’d be hearing a lot of in this course. Of all the graphs and Hebrew words I can’t remember (but try to), this is one concept that’s coming through loud and clear. My job here is to learn more about this process, (and to keep trying to learn the Hebrew, by osmosis if nothing else – it’s a beautiful language).
The second question is the action part of the first question I answered. After learning how to gain the beginning stages of experiencing the Light. My desire is for more practical understanding of how this is achieved and sustained.
I will not use the allegory of the womb as the light because my fellow students have already done it so well, I couldn’t add to what they’ve already said.
My wish is to have that Point in my Heart grow and become more than a point, and I think for that to happen we will probably have to begin engaging with others, instructors and students, in real-time. I hope for this because the ‘gains’, the revelations, when they happen are so immense, but the ego-acting-out-stuff that always happens after an experience of growth is a force that threatens to stop or even reverse the good that I achieved. And I really believe that if I am to succeed in not falling victim to my own ego’s demands, I will need to have others around me (over the internet, at least for starters) because it will help me focus on being there for others instead of always having to be there for Jack’s overgrown ego because it just won’t shut up.
I happen to know that if I get the chance to connect with others, my ego won’t be able to stop me or get in the way, and now that I have finally found others who share my longing to help create a better world – for ourselves and/or others, it’s all fine as long as it is about making things better, making things good! – I have a deep longing to begin the work together, first in a Lab (I understand why the term Lab is used now rather than a Ten, which is the minyan we will eventually work together with, when we’re ready to take that step).
Rav Laitman surprised me in the video above here. I know that experience and feeling, that he describes, so well, and he surprised me because it is a feeling you get when you know that You have done something that you know you did for the good of others, not for yourself, and you have a sense of fulfilment in having done it.
I think he surprised me because he usually never speaks about personal achievements and how that can make you feel strengthened in your resolve to continue your work with the Light and attaining Equivalence of Form.
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PS. While I was writing this post, I hit some wrong keys and suddenly a message appeared that told me “Kabbalahinfo has received your report and we will look into it, don’t worry, you will remain anonymous”. It sounded to me as if whatever happened had to do with a report of complaint about somebody had been sent in my name, and I just want to point out that this was certainly not my intention, and I hope they will dismiss the whole thing. I’m very sorry that this happened, I don’t know how it happened, but I wish it hadn’t.
– I guess I screwed up. I mean, I know my posts are lengthy and messy, and I wish I could do better. But this is a new level of mess, and I apologize. – I’m going to send a message to KabU Support as well so as to be sure this misunderstanding gets resolved quickly and without anything bad coming from it.
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