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<p style=”text-align: left;”>Dentro de los muchos conceptos dados en el curso, destaca la idea del triángulo de fuerzas a tener siempre presente: El creador , el medio ambiente espiritual ( el grupo) y “yo”, actuando con la intención adecuada. Este concepto nos lleva a recordar la visión siempre constante de la unidad de ” there is none else besides Him” que impregna toda la Kabbalah.</p>
This week felt more practical to me than any week of all the courses I’ve done so far. I’ve had a growing worry that engaging in KabU would be primarily intellectual, and I would be left on my own to figure out how to develop felt experience of the wisdom. I look forward to joining the graduate environment for more connection and developing felt knowledge with fellow students, but am thankful for the practical suggestions that came from this in the meantime.
The triangle of forces in “Everyone Has a Story” gave me a lens I could use to troubleshoot situations where I had the feeling I was being driven by egoistic desires in ways I couldn’t see, and felt quite disorganized in my response. Now if I feel overwhelmed by my ego, I simply connect more with spiritual environments, or do activities that help me connect to the presence of the Creator, to augment the balancing force within myself.
The description of the process in “What is my Next Step” felt very actionable as well. Identify the egoistic desires, develop a screen to quarantine them, because the screen is necessary like an iris to begin to actually sense the spiritual world. And that developing a screen is something you must put effort towards, but that ultimately is not your own doing, and is received from the outside. The metaphor of developing to tools to contain, build, and balance the spiritual forces within yourself was very clear to me.
I very much look forward to discovering what new experiences come from trying out these perspectives this week 🙂
Sorry if I’m taking up too much time, patience and space with this.
For whatever reason, reading it now, in March 2022, I get a kind of a sad feeling, when reading your 2021 note, dear Miryam. Based on my own fluctuating states of feelings, faith and yearning, I can fathom somehow that you were just in a temporary deep spot, from which you could have been helped out by the group you were about to be assigned to. It is basic that spirituality cannot and must not be forced. Yet, I feel even now, almost a year later after you wrote this, that I would like to stretch out a friendly helping hand to you…
I want to share with you Miryam, a recent experience of something very powerful in our learning program albeit not strictly connected to this particular course. It happened with me on March 12 of 2022, when a large number of us were connecting from all over the world for a Zohar reading with Gil, and a joint kabbalistic prayer for peace in the World.
I didn’t take time to properly prepare. Still, it happened. Not right away but closer to the end of the “plenary” event, when Gil suggested that we formulate and write into the chat our own, personal prayers to add to the laconic texts of the common ones. Being momentarily in a low state of lack of self-confidence (I frequently have during and outside the study environment) I wrote something like that: I ask the Reforming Light to elevate me above my egoistic desires, so that I contribute with sufficient purity to the (common) prayer. I had to write slowly, re-read it and make corrections of omissions and typos due to the “slow writing mode” switched on for the surface. But in the moment I pressed the Send button, an overwhelming warmth – indeed like a light – enveloped, went inside and dissolved me. It felt a lot. Calm yet electrifying, being “heard and answered”, “knowing” that my desire was included in the prayer of the many, as well as something even more. A kind of a euphoric vibration, too, of an extended United Oneness. Meaning not just with the involved friends on the same frequency of the prayer, but a much broader United Oneness, too, with a positive empowerment to bestow. And it didn’t just come and go. For 2 days after I constantly remained at the same frequency, “knowing” that my experience is common with that of most of us participating in the prayer. Even now, as I’m writing this down, the same warmth and calmness is invoked in my head and chest from time to time.
I know and respect that outside the Kabbalah environment there can be and are pure and powerful prayers/meditations, too, performed by faith based groups. Prior to Kabbalah/KabU I had many personal – I assume now – egoistic prayers to gain understanding/solution of confusing, sometimes direct life-threatening events. And felt I got answers/direct support in the form of either lucrative dreams or even instant life experiences, all providing me guidance for positive practical solutions. I was and remain very grateful for those! But wanted to understand with my mind, too, as to what phenomenon exactly is this; why, how and with whom this “communication” exists;Â and how – I always presumed – those work not just for me but for every one of us? That was, how I arrived to Kabbalah, and now feel “rewarded” with a comprehensive “answer” by the described practical experience for many of us.
So, wherever you may be dear Miryam, whether outside or inside the Kabbalah environment I wish for you, too, to become the conscious part of being United for Bestowal, and experience its euphoric yet calming frequency.
With love, M.
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