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This course brings me to the real world. I am beginning to feel the difference from just studying to actually living Kabbalah. My experience in this course has brought the Light to my being and I find myself speaking the principles to others in ordinary conversation, seeing things differently, feeling the connection to all of Nature. I have learned how to pray. I look forward to continuing this journey.
What inspired me most about this course was the opportunity to explore the Wisdom of Kabbalah and learn about the importance of the kabbalistic group moving forward. I’ve learned that that nagging question I’ve always had has been my point in the heart and I hope my fellow students have found their point in the heart and are ready to continue on their spiritual journey.
I loved these classes very much! But I’m dreading that the actual practice won’t work for me. I studied online with Bnai Baruch 10 years ago for nearly 2 years, then gave up because the women’s group I got into (not video back then, only chat, if I recall) seemed so underwhelming. I’m still in a snit about what looks like sexism in the lineage. I get worried when I read or hear that we are not supposed to share our progress with each other. If the groups are only reading together (as were back then, at least as far as I got) or talking about mental level things, I can’t imagine that they’ll work for me. But – of course I’m looking forward to trying! The aspirations are so inspiring, I hope they can really come true for a plain old ordinary white American Jewess (me) who is seriously committed to trying very hard here!
It’s possible that currently I’m feeling a descent, but truth be told – the further I have gotten through KabU the more disillusioned I feel regarding the Kabbalah. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way over the past 13 years I have come and gone from studying the wisdom, but all of it seems to boil down to the endless confusion and seeming contradictions while studying the texts, plus the hopelessness of ever finding and getting truly connected to a group that shares the same desire for real spiritual attainment.
I understand that KabU eventually does connect it’s students to a group, which appears to be the only practical means of attainment in the wisdom (as Kabbalah frequently asserts corporeal actions cannot advance oneself). However, I have doubts in the effectiveness of virtual connection in the same way that I’ve experienced virtual connection in the past (work from home, fellowshipping through zoom, etc..) in that virtual connection does not seem to fully emulate live connection between humans.
With that being said, after all of these years I still cling to the Kabbalah because deep in my heart, confirmed with bits of experience, I know it to be true. And because of that I look forward to whatever this path will eventually reveal.
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