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I’ve taken a few Kabbalah courses but never been able to read other people comments, I find it very distressing. Today I decided to read this comments, to finally hear other voices. I found raw spiritual pain in some of you, for the first time I felt myself as part of a group with similar existential issues in common.
I just feel kind of lost, dealing with issues due to health, wandering the way things used to be, so now that I know we can’t go back, I can’t really see any hope in this plan at all, I’ve disconnected myself from every social activity whatsoever because , what’s the point? ok. we are between a gap right now, it is a foggy step, where to from now? I am just glad I found this course and this path, I`ve walked many miles mostly with eastern philosophy and new age stuff, this is by far the most thing that makes sense at all. thank you guys!!!! love from Ecuador !!!
I feel that since I started searching for answers, including studying kabbalah, my egoism and that of others, our selfish intentions, became very visible to me to a degree that my shame and my contempt doesn’t allow me to participate in any social life. On top of that, i feel such a big shame of who I am, that every interaction with this presented system costs me a lot of overcoming.
Sometimes I get very angry when I hear people talking that creation has a good purpose while all i experienced in my life no matter if i try to connect or not is going down, down, down.
I’m a heavy soul who would even get kicked out of hell for being an awkward guest.
All i am doing here feels like working with a gun pointed at my back, a whip and a slavedriver who promises me a better future, that there is no coersion in what I do now, he would just make me run by feeling pain. So i run, run, run.
Do i need to believe that there is a good purpose in this work in order to experience the good outcome later?
When will this horror show finally stop?
This lesson leaves me wondering, is all of humanity is going to cross the gap? How do we know when we, as an individual, have crossed the gap between arrow 2 and 3? Is it a gradual process? If life feels like it keeps getting worse instead of better, does that mean we have entered the gap or are we getting further away? Can we get further away or is it a one-way trip no matter what we do or how we live our lives? How do we cope with gaining “equivalence of form” (EOF) when other people seem not to be……OR, is it a sign that we are NOT gaining EOF if we struggle to deal with other people that we perceive as very selfish and uncaring? I’m weary of feeling like a blind man stumbling around in the dark being told there is attainable light, yet never sensing it and, worse, sensing what feels like greater darkness.
The lesson brought me to the decision to fully disclose. Originally, I was going to remain anonymous.
I’m a Bnei Baruch student since 2008. I’m here because my hardened heart led me here to you — to this environment of newly awakened friends. Even though it’s only been about 18 hours since I’ve joined, my heart is deeply softened.
In the last part of the lesson on Three Arrows, Tony describes where we are: in the gap between the material and post-material worlds. Great to be exploring this change of state with you! <3
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