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I was raised in the Christian religion, and I am still a participant in it. I even went to seminary and I work at a non-denominational/evangelical American church. I have always had a desire to see my community return to the Creator, but until recently I never felt free enough to explore the things I felt were so deeply broken in my tradition. I don’t hate my tradition, I sincerely love these people and I hope for us all to find freedom together, but I do get so frustrated with our lack of unity and the oppressive systems teaching worldviews that create division and smother love. I began to try to read Christian Scripture through different eyes – perhaps things aren’t as they “seem” to our interpretations; maybe there are spiritual truths behind these words that we don’t understand. My tradition tries to force almost an entirely materialistic (“literal”) interpretation onto Scriptures (except for where it’s inconvenient because they do still want to seem spiritual), which I have never felt right with (i.e. the entire universe was created 6,000 years ago). Anyone suggesting that maybe it’s talking more about spiritual reality than physical reality is accused of “overspiritualizing” to the point of heresy. I still have so much to learn, but what has blown my mind is that I am not alone and I am not the only one seeing this. I am no longer afraid of seeking to find the spiritual world in the Scriptures (and beyond our canon!!) because I can see that while this world exists and has its purposes, it is not the totality of existence, and that the upper world is so very, very real. We do not have to deny it out of fear or lack of knowledge. I long to remain in my tradition, with hopes that maybe someday I can figure out how to safely teach these ideas, like planting seeds, to those who might listen – to others who also feel this deep longing for greater answers. I hope I’ve said all of this in wisdom and love.
I guess one of my worries is going through this learning experience “alone”. I do wish to engage with the online community here, but I am currently a student at a graduate college that would be very against me engaging in this. I feel very isolated. And yes, one of my fears was that maybe this process would drive me “mad”, so I laughed out loud and appreciated when that was addressed. I feel ready for this experience in the sense that I’ve become so aware of my soul’s thirst that I must find water, but I hope to still drink the water with self-control so as not to drown myself. I long to stay in my right mind, without letting my mind wander into deep seas where I lose my footing or cannot anchor myself. I’m not sure if that makes much sense at all. I hope that we can do this “alone, together”. Thank you.
I desire to find a balance, flow, and direction in my life. And not one that is forced upon me, but that I accept and embrace with open arms and open heart. I have not stewarded my body, my time, my energy well in the past, and I long to realize that I have the option to change the direction I’ve been going in; to find or create a new path, and to follow it.
Hi, I’m Ashlyn from Texas. I was raised Christian, and I still am, but I believe I was not always taught the whole truth about our world. I’m on a journey to find a more holistic understanding. But I also have practical reasons for being here. I have a dear friend who has a mysterious intermittent illness and is otherwise perfectly healthy. She’s been to doctors and tried medicines, but no one can figure it out. I feel called to learn about the spiritual side of healing, but I also know that I’m not fully ready to go into the deep end. I struggle with love and connection, even though I’ve been taught about its importance for much of my life. I hope through this course to deepen my understanding of connection so that I can help myself and those I love move towards spiritual and physical formation and healing.