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Hi Nika, nice to hear that 🥰, however, it came just about 3 hrs. late, I just finalized my traveling plans tonight … Creator is working in funny ways.
It’s been 2 weeks since I posted this and kind of gave up hope to find somebody near by.Have a safe drive and hope to meet you there.
What did I take from the lesson?
With learning there is a lot to unlearn too; it is like ”2 in 1” kind of double fold work, with the feeling of more I learn less I know confusion, yet there are sparks of clarity here and there.
How do we make sure that we draw the reforming light with every action of ours?
Trust our feelings that come up around friends, and let the feeling guide us to feel the friends as ourselves.
Message to inspire the friends?
Intention is powerful, no matter what the actions are, where all the forces are pushing-pulling us, focus on the intention towards the goal and all will be good.
Thanks Sandra, that would be awesome if I had the time. Truth is Montreal is more then 7 hrs. drive from Woodstock, ON, and still have to fulfill responsibilities on Thursday 😌.
At this point, as I have nobody near by to connect with, I am looking into flights, then take the bus from the airport to the retreat site, nothing set yet.
Zorica dear, I will try to describe “how envy feels like” … to me … what I discovered so far, and hope will add some to Naomi’s example.
I “envy” you, already expressed this no surprise here, haha 😉, because you have clear Q’s, you can express yourself with ease, you have a presence of a clear cut “force” of determination for finding out what you would like to know! I do have a huge desire to find out the ultimate truth, but deficient how to do it … most of the time my Q’s are stuck in me or they come out unclear, I never seam to get the answer I’m looking for. I just keep digging inside and is frustrating 🙇🏻♀️.
So, your quality triggers me and causes a disturbance inside me, feels like when you drop a rock in a pond, and creates ripples.
Your positive quality meets my negative deficiency and shows up as “envy”, a pulling force towards a type of pleasure I am seeking, but lacking.
In general, in corporeal environment, envy in me is a force in it’s corrupted form, I move away from people like you, I feel intimidated, dominated, small, ashamed, incompetent, I shrink, I suppress my contribution to the environment so I DISCONNECT.
In this environment, however, I discover another side of envy: first feels uncomfortable, but I know I am with friends, other points in the hearts, with the same, unshakable goal for revealing the Creator, so I put my trust on the table and I dare to feel YOU Zorica, the quality you have and I lack … whoooo, at this point the ego starts kicking and screaming, trust me 😫, … then comes the value of the “trust the teachings, the group and ultimately faith above reason” … oh wait, what exactly did I learn? … confusion set in again, sit and wait … oh crap, this sucks … wait, wait, … days and weeks go by filled with discomfort, prayer as though “please have mercy and get me out of this confusion” , I keep showing up to meetings and lessons even though I would rather hide, loads of Q’s poking me from inside out and I’m just sitting there in my discomfort.
Then one day, we learn about annulment of myself in front of friends! WHAAAAAT? … annul myself!? Oh, Conceal myself to reveal the concealed Creator!
WOW! I find a switch of on/off, 0-1 inside me! Yes, I “envy” Zorica’s quality, but now I don’t want to have it for my individual self, I turn that switch off in me and turn on the switch for the Creator to manifest Himself through it Zorica! I CONNECT to the force of envy through you, Zorica … I get answers to my unasked Q’s! Now I feel an expanding pleasure which I don’t know what to do with, it feels good, it feeds my ego, have no idea where I landed in the process, but is different then the disconnected feeling of envy I experienced before! … Now I feel like the one who should be envied 😆, without doing anything really.
Wow, this feels goooood, much better then envy before! I know envy from corporeal life, not as lucky as you 😈 … and here we go again! Zorica is lucky, I am not 🤣, the cycle starts again … oh boy, loosing it, but really grasping the “inner work” aspect 🥴😵💫.Sorry if I confused you, please hold on to our ultimate goal of reaching final correction of all the corrupted forces inside us 🙏 for the sake of bringing “Heaven on Earth”. I am here for that through thick and thin for AL OF US 💖.
