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That’s a great example, Sarah. In the eyes of society, that’s an act of giving, but since it gives you pleasure, it’s already called an act of receiving because the act doesn’t matter. What matters is whether the pleasure remains outside of me completely. Now, since any act could be one of bestowal, it is wise to not try to implement spiritual bestowal by doing acts that society already regards as giving.
But there’s a much bigger problem. As you indicated, bestowal is only if it’s bestowal to the Creator. Otherwise, it’s definitionally not considered true bestowal. For regular people, charity is just fine. But if I want to reach Equivalence of Form with the Creator, then we need to have a different conversation. Maybe the Creator is in charge of the whole reality, every detail, and already giving to each one what they need – not according to what I think they need but what they need according to the Creator’s Plan, since He knows what the best possibility would be for each one in every moment.
And the biggest problem: The Creator wants only one thing, and this is the only thing He can’t do, and thus the only thing one can bestow to Him. That’s for you and/or others to reach Equivalence with Him, spirituality. That is, you can give to Him by reaching correction and the goal of your life or helping others get there.
In this last point, there is also a problem: you can only help those for whom your help would be a gift truly – that is, those who are willingly studying the wisdom of Kabbalah and thus would appreciate your inspiration and so on.
No, with wisdom – basic corporeal wisdom – I learn to distance from those who are oriented away from the goal of my life and introduce only those who are drawn to that goal. With the exception of family, work people, and neighbors, I have no moral obligation to others. I should only keep the ones that I enjoy. But that’s not Kabbalah, that’s just being purposeful. That goes for people and other things too.
Good questions, Sarah. But the truth is that I can’t want to be like the Creator once I learn and feel what that means. I was built with senses that are innately at odds with that venture. So, it’s a fixed game. It’s known that I’ll believe this venture to be egoistic; it’s known that I’ll discover that it’s actually something my ego can never desire; it’s know that I’ll need to, thus, have a group around me that will inspire me to go toward this goal nevertheless since this is goal of life and I’ll have to do it eventually whether in a pleasant or unpleasant manner.
To your second question – no, the ego is as infinite as you think the Creator is. It’s a boundless desire commensurate with the boundless pleasure He wishes to bestow. So, we must only correct it so it can do so.
Thank you, brother. I’m going to both do as our teacher does in relation to questions related to what specific degree we’re on, and leave that for students to determine, as well as say that wanting to determine one’s state is a healthy inclination – though you’re right in that all my inclinations prior to Lishma are egoistic. But there’s a relative egoism that is spirituality-inclined – like how I’m able to do certain actions toward the friends and it’s certain there must be egoistic motivation since my Will to Receive will not run on an empty fuel tank. The healthy aspect of wanting to determine one’s degree is that I should always find myself, where I stand, in relation to what the Kabbalists describe. That way I’ll feel the gap and pray about it, that they talk about Upper Worlds, Lishma, loving others, bestowal – while I remain in such lowliness that an alternative computer tab can draw me away from these matters for who knows how long.
Of course I know you mean the question regarding specifically where in relation to the Upper Worlds I stand, and that I can’t answer. It is really quite complex. You can’t even really put it into a diagram. There are also degrees before the Barrier, which Kabbalists don’t write about because it won’t help us beyond that which Rabash writes – and even those have behind them spiritual degrees that are beyond our world. But at least those I can do something about, on the level I’m on.
