[Verena]

Adding to this, because it might not be clear, what I am asking…  If  you have to make important decisions, or what seems important in corporeality (because it is just a glimpse, and most likely not important at all in a bigger picture), still,  how do you turn that to the creator? Do  you do so at all ?  I understand, we dońt need to ask „favors“ from a natural force… and everything comes from above, even our doubts, thoughts and considerations, or any insecurities… so it is not the point of prayer… but is there a space for an inner dialogue, or a request to make the decision according to what is best for everyoneś developement? Or do we simply accept those insecurities, make a step, and see from there- assuming that if everything comes from above the creator will lead us in any case,  (and use our cognition to do the best calculation). I understand the creator is EVERYwhere, but in this everywhere, how should I consider him?

[Verena]

Hi Gianni, there is one thing that keeps being in my mind and heart. I understand that the work in the ten is like a cell for spiritual development, and that the YG gives us the tools to learn how to work in a ten, and progress, and  that basically in the ressouces all the wisdom is layed out. So then, all is there. But what is the purpose of corporeality in this? I heard three opinions- keep it separate OR stay in contact with the creator all the time (including corporeality) OR consider anything corporeal to be just a basedrum of existence – needed but not giving the tune. I understand, the place to grow and work is the ten. But, where  is the place of the creator in daily life? How can I best relate to it or how do I know when to switch between the three opinions?

[Verena]

Hi Gianni, Thanks so much. I understood that it is necessary to  keep praying in those dark states, even when  my demand or yearning is out of anger or despair, even when there are no friends. I understood, a prayer out of habit cannot doesńtwork, as there is no deficiency behind it. And that really makes sense, but at the same time I fear, that if I pray out of darkness, doubt and anger, it would be the same thing. In a state of total disconnection, I would not feel anything then, anymore. Still,  from what I learned now,  the deficiency and the plea in this is recognized, it is not an „empty“ prayer“, and therefore it could be  answered, is that right?

I dońt want to dissect everything, itś just that I really try to get a clearer picture, so I dońt have  to be afraid of getting  „swallowed up“ by that darkness, darkness…and I know some states can feel very dark. I am longing for a picture I can understand, so I can leave behind the idea of „wrong“ or „useless“ prayer or being „beyond the point of no return“ in a state of disconnetion.

Therefore, this last thing: I understand the creator is a natural force, and because that is so, I understand, this force replies to a deficiency. I understand we are not talking about „favors“ and „belief“, and I understand that those deficiencies are necessary in order to come into contact with the creating force, and that they can be so strong, that they leave all the other impressions behind. But HOW can this deficiency  lead to contact through prayer?

Is it like with diffusion or electric flow… where the flow of particles always directs into that compartment of lower concentration of particles ? So, here, the light directs to the void simply because in that void there is a lack of light, that naturally needs to be balanced out? But diffusion can happen everywhere, if permeability is given. So, is all the pain we go through, to make as „permeable“ for the light?  And eletric flow is given when the circuit is closed. So – what is the prayer then? A switch to start the process? And staying with electricity, the pain is there to lower our resistance?

Ok, sorry if this was just too long. I have re-read it, and shortened it much as I could. I am more than happy for this chance to ask questions. So thank you :-))

[Verena]

Thanks so much, it is helpful. Now, and this is not theoretical, because I have been there-  what if there is no ten, no ressources, and maybe not even understanding of Kabbalah? I understand, the creator is with us, all the time.  But both that darkness and , once you have had the chance to learn, the „fear of loosing faith“ (i.e., if I understood correctly the „fear of God“) feel so opposite to faith above reason.  So what would be left then, when  fear or pain cut down any possible faith? Can a prayer still work then? When you dońt believe in it, but maybe want to?

[Verena]

Hi Gianni, there is another question adding to this… if we see people suffer, people that are close to us,… even if we really manage to keep in our hearts that the creator is „the good, that does good“… its unlikely that we wont be affected by this. How may we justify the feelings that come along with this-like grief, anger, sadness, or even feeling abandoned by the creator or feeling, much as we try, we can in this moment not justify him anymore. All these feelings or states, are  most likely not something we decide on. They jsut come upon us.  Therefore I wonder,  how we can relate to them, because I dońt feel that , in addition to all the pain, feeling guilty of not having enough faith is in any way leading out of the darkness that surrounds us then. Then, HOW can we get out of the darkness in such states?

[Verena]

Hi Gianni, if we think about „loss“ or „having to let go“ in corporeal life, it naturally evokes feelings of grief, sadness, anger. In a way I understood itś all just  transitions… „changes in form“ or „changing the clothes“, and when it come to life cahnges it´ś all managed from above for us to learn. Now, . how can we learn to accept those changes, or losses, and grow with them  rather than getting stuck? I understand, we have to accept „everything comes from above“, but I equally see how difficult it can be, how in these situations we may get stuck in the darkness, so I am wondering how to grow with challenges on this.

[Author]

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