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Will there a be a point in development, when bestowal becomes a second nature, when it doesńt ask active restriction of the will to receive , and that natural egoism, all the time anymore? I am asking because I feel like it says,… a „natural“ egoist. Not that I like it… it’s kind of humbling to see that structure and acknowledge it. Is there a way to get over that? Is it done by focussing on the well-being and development of the friends? By not giving attention so much anymore as to what the „I“ demands? Or will it be constant struggle?
Thanks so much for all the answers clarification…and the amazing patience. patience… I feel I am starting to get closer to understanding this. and to get the importance of working on the kli in constant practice and in the group, so maybe at one point I will learn to form a real prayer  🙂 . Now, just a very last thing (and then I am sure my mind and heart will happily settle :-))) .. If we pray together, how does the  effect we create, amplify?  Is connection itself a „force“ that can draw the light or does it just connect the points in the heart to form a bigger kli? And from there – does  it need all three- intention, connection and klis of all of us who pray? Ok, now, I really feel it´ś all been asked, and itÅ› been in my heart for a long while now. So I am happy I got the chance And I feel any clarification is just so helpful. Thank you!!!
Thank you Gianni, and so sorry to get back to this once more, but itś something that really  been bothering me for months now, and I feel I really wish to know how to form a real prayer. And to understand what a prayer really is and does. All that I ever learned about prayer , before I started studying Kabbalah, obviously just doesńt fit anymore. I understand it´ś not a ritual. Itś not the words my mouth form, even if they are kind and benevolent. There is no judge allowing the pledge to pass or not. So, it must be something nature can do. So far I understand, we aim our intention towards the deficiency of a friend, and then ask for an opportunity in the friends life/development/inner state. And I understand, that itś been said that the prayer of a kabbalist can make a real change. Is raising a prayer an act of bestowal or a plea for bestowal from above then? Is it drawing light to a specific „place of need“ and thus can  evoke a change?
Hi Gianni, one last question, as this is really challenging me… with the path of light and the path of suffering- is this an either / or  choice OR can we experience both at the same time? I wonder, because I feel, we may choose to develop in one part, but then equally, struggle with something else ( or maybe that just seems so to me).  In any case, I feel there is more layers to develop than there is even discernments to ask help for, so one may try to walk on the path of light as much as one can discern it and work on it, but the rest is still in darkness. So are we walking on two paths at the same time then?
Hi Gianni, and thanks Maria for asking about prayer. Itś resonating in me, because itś something I really wonder about… if we pray for our development, is that like making a choice to want to walk on the path of light? And if we ask that from the bottom of our heart, itś being listened to, because in fact it might be part of this choice-making process? And when we pray for others, as we dońt know what will help them to make their choice accordingly, can we pray for anything benevolent happening to them, that may guide them to their path of light? Does it work like that? Thatś how I try to do it, but it is difficult to let it be more than an inner dialogue. And itś really hard not to feel oneś ego too much. So,  I am asking, because I still feel I dońt know how to work with prayer. On the other hand, it  happens that when I feel deep yearning or deficiency, the prayer forms by itself… like a request to help me understand and grow… and in the meetings I follow the others, and that is a strong sensation, but I dońt know if any of this is prayer.
Hi Gianni, I keep wondering what the purpose of fear in spirituality is. I just read in Shamati 11. „Joy with a Quiver“, about how joy / love and fear complement each other. I understood fear to be considered like the „holes“ to the house of love. Like fear to be like  a void contrasting  love, which is existence. And together love and fear to be „whole“. Now, I am still wondering, what is the purpose of fear? Why do we NEED it? Is it so as to create space (like the holes in the house) for new experiences or degrees or progress? Is it, so that we value love, because we can feel itś preciousness only through the contrast of a void? Is it, so we dońt take everything for granted, and actively renew our choices to walk on the path of light (or at least try to)? Or am I totally on the wrong track with this human way of interpreting fear?
