Preparation Question: In what way have I gained a deeper understanding of my life and of the forces working in the world?

I and other forms of  matter/energy live within a god force – consciousness

I am learning to experience how everything is connected and how I am becoming conscientious of being present for the gifts that are around and which I am part.

That its all a gift, and is going through a detailed process. I can consciously learn and work with these forces to overcome the desires of the body, learn how to be truly grateful for everything and the laws of Nature.

Im understanding that there are forces all around me and learning to correct my ego and correct it in order to move on and understand life and death

Once I gained enough sense of security in life to be able to (raise my head above the water) and see things as they are, not as what I perceived them to be up to that point.

I always believed in GOD. I believed if I lived the right way I would be happy and my future secured. when The Lord moved upon me and I finally changed everything I was doing it was bliss at the beginning. Then things took a drastic turn. The more I pushed and forced my way upon him, all chaos and destruction  pursed me. I thought it was because of me. I learned its because the spirit realm was trying to blind my way, to be a stumbling block to keep The Creator veiled away from me. I keep pushing back. I’m not  going to let these evil ones, take him away from me. of course my life has become a living hell at day and a reoccurring nightmare at night. I’m still trying to understand my life and His plan for me. That’s why I am here trying to learn. I have learned and I have felt my need for The Kabbalah. For the word, no matter the teaching. The Divine word has made me feel and crave it.