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Although it is hard to explain, I learned that I am nothing but pleasure for the creator. There is no good and no bad. I learned that nature is working as intended and it is my true nature to be opposite the creator. I learned also that within this nature I perceive myself to be more important than I actually am which creates the Arrogance of the Ego. This feeds into the illusion of free will. I also learned that through my intention (not my actions) that I can change my perception on who and what I am. And it is through this work according to Ba’al Salam Ashlag that I can correct all of this this lifetime. I also learned that even though I know the solution, it will be a lot of hard work. What I learned most of all is that knowing this made me feel like I was somebody, like I was really something. And that was revelation of my Ego needing to be dealt with again. I am fortunate to understand, but I hate my Ego. So revealing what I feel I may know sometimes makes me feel like I’m bragging that “I am knowledgeable”. I do not want to feel this way, so I stay silent. I feel it is safe to say something here because here I am truly trying to learn not brag. So asking questions or revealing what I have learned I do it in the best of intentions. I learned also that reading other’s comments can teach (especially the answers of the other students are given). I am here for at least another year I will see this process to its fruition. I learned I am thankful for all the teachers and volunteers.
My best experience from the previous course was honestly everything. I loved every part of it, it was great to receive my books, and especially exploring the community here online. Doing a QandA with Tony, watching youtube videos with Gil and Asaf, checking out the Great Transition podcast, Rav Laitman’s daily lessons. It’s amazing what you guys have created and put together. The feeling of connection is real! From this course I’m expecting to delve deeper.
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