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Hi Gianni,
does real deficiency always have to come with pain, and how can we work with this? How can we grow beyond the pain, and turn it into connection? And how can we create deficiency in our friends, and pass it on, in a positive way, as yearning, and a WANT for connection, and revelation of the creator, while it feels like deficiency comes from a place of such lack and pain? How can we pray correctly, to grow with the deficiencies that are given to us?
What I mean is not so much the external challenges, because with them I feel I am being pushed, so it doesn’t feel like I had choice, it’s more like there is only one way… it is this internal lack… like feeling there is only one truth, that everything is connected, and feeling this IS true, and at the same time feeling so far away from ever getting there. Like being in a world where everyone is running around like a little turret, with thick walls, pushing his way through life… and one gets hurt and pushed along… and learns to push back, to stand one’s ground, but at the same point one realizes that this is so essentially wrong, in fact this is so untrue, because we ARE ONE,… which shows in the work of the ten, in congresses, while studying… like the fog is lifting for one moment, but then it’s back to the darkness of corporeality where all one needs are walls. I feel like it’s as one is standing at the shore, unable to swim, the beautiful, refreshing and all encompassing water is coming close and withdraws, again and again, and all one can do is acknowledge it is coming and going… I don’t feel like I am the acting force there… I feel more like I am being acted on, externally and internally, to get to this point, until there is no other path or excuse or distraction left… with all possible mains… and it’s ok, I can accept it, I just really don’t know what to do with it?
We always have deficiencies. But what do I do with them? Naturally, I try to fill each one. Is that what I was supposed to do? A shower of deficiencies are bestowed upon me by the Creator so that they can be turned into a deficiency for bestowal to the Creator. So it’s either I fill up the deficiency or I turn to the Creator with this empty vessel and He needs to fill it with the quality of bestowal. This all has to tie to my work in the ten of course.
Toward them, I want to seemingly replace the backside of the Creator. So instead of the regular deficiency that the Creator will send, that needs to be turned into a spiritual deficiency, I want to already instill in them a spiritual deficiency. Say, by showing them I’m investing extra, beyond “what I can do,” in the love of friends. This example creates a gap between the existing and the desirable. It’s very good to give each other such “problems”.
Thanks for getting back to me. How can I know when I just have to work harder, or when I have reached a limit…one that I cannot cross? One where I simply need the creator to help me?
And how can I ask the creator for help … not help to back away from the work… but help to understand and be able to live up to the deficiencies he is giving me?
I am willing to do my share…I just really don’t know how to handle this state of feeling that indeed we all ARE connected, we ARE one, and yet, most people cannot feel it or don’t have the desire to feel it. This world of disconnection feels so wrong. What is the work in this, given awareness that it’s a matter of perception, but equally given to have to be part of this shattered way of existence?
One who is awakened, it means that they are the nexus of the universe and others rely on them to do the work first. I need to only want to bestow, so that the result doesn’t matter to me. I want the result to end outside of me with nothing back to me, not even the awareness of my success or not. Then my work is correct and then there may be other degrees. But I’m not worried about that but to be in this forever – because in this I’m like the Creator.
Turn to the Creator right away always. Or, if there’s something you can still do, do it right away as much as possible. I don’t care if I’m giving, praying, the thing is to be in one of these always.
I have a question about “women’s work”. I came to this path from the path of suffering. It seems that people have wanted to “take” from me as soon as I became an adult. I have been in environments where I felt it was extremely hostile toward me at the unconscious level and on the surface. It’s like all men wanted was to find ways to steal from me. This made me protect myself. I eventually felt I had nothing more to give to these environments. As time went on, I found better environments, and my job fit with a natural inclination as a problem solver. It seems to me now that I would sense a need, and I would take it as my own and “fix it”. Although I grew as a person and developed more strength, I was still drained. Once I left that environment, I no longer felt that inclination (except with my children). Yet, as soon as I came to this environment, it came out of nowhere! I couldn’t even control it. I have been gradually coming to realize that I can cause harm to myself and my friends by doing this.
How do we separate ourselves from sharing our egos and only share spiritual desire? Is this just a process we go through of realization? Is what I am describing above “women’s work”? Because I feel what I am doing is without knowledge or intention.
Yes, it’s a process and it takes time for any person to hear deeply and accept the fences of discourse within the ten – while still maximally participating. As I said previously, the only currency between friends is greatness of the spiritual goal, conveyed through all kinds of tactics: you have to give them such importance of the goal that reality changes for them. One’s reality is a lie to begin with; we need to sell each other the truth, that we’re connected, filled with the Light of the Creator, receiving nothing for ourselves, only receiving all the goodness in our connection, thus giving them such importance Creator great contentment. We’re all there at the end of correction, in the Garden of Eden. So, I need to edge the friends closer each moment to feeling that, and I’ll come closer to it myself, in the process.
If one is holding the intention to elevate the friends to such a feeling of connection, then what we say to each other will be generally right and the Light will cover for our mistakes. But if we forget about this intention, we’re on a very slow path of mistakes and corrections, until we nevertheless come to this work with accompanying intentions.
Except for the fact that you are a woman and feel the work as such, it’s the same work for men and women, and a man too can be found in that which is called “women’s work”, without intentions; and a woman in what’s called “men’s work,” meaning with an intention.
We’ve had a friend leave the ten, and it feels like a part of us has been cut away. It’s painful. On top of that, there have been some accusations about inequality in the ten. I keep turning it over in my mind, maybe there’s truth in it, maybe not. We never had the chance to work through it with that friend, and now the “sterile lab environment” we try to maintain feels disrupted. I’m trying to sense what he was referring to and it’s influencing My perception of the friends.
How do we keep going? How do I keep going? Do we just move forward and annul ourselves to this possible, perhaps even imagined, inequality? It’s hard.
If a friend leaves, it’s natural that they would leave behind some accusations. Otherwise why leave? Every friend who does spiritual work has accusations against their friends. It’s not that these accusations have a shred of validity. I always need to judge myself, and never the friends; lower myself and raise the friends above me; give love of friends to the ten, and not wait for love to be shown to me, such that friends will behave in manners that suit my opinion of what love of friends looks like. In short, there’s no room for me to allow the image of the shattered reality to speak within me – let alone for it to escape past my lips and echo within the ten!
If there’s a specific problem that we think falls outside the boundaries of the regular tricks that each one’s ego plays to give us something to overcome, you can reach out to the Arvut Team. But we have to accept that, as in a body where cells are born and die all the time, there can be friends that come and go on the periphery of the ten. Our role is to love them and support them while they are with us, and the rest is up to the Creator.
Hi Gianna, I am sharing what you said with our 10 “lower myself and raise the friends above me; give love of friends to the ten, and not wait for love to be shown to me, such that friends will behave in manners that suit my opinion of what love of friends looks like”
my questions is: should we encourage each friend in our 10 to share with us how they’d like to be loved( and maybe it’s different from time to time) ? if not, how do we know what we do(as many actions can be the conduct of love) will really help this friend?
It’s possible. Generally I know I need to raise the importance of the goal for the friend, to such an extent that it changes their reality. How to do this though? As Rabash says, to a friend who likes sweets and not pickles, I can’t bestow pickles (though that might have been what I’d have liked to “bestow”). So I need to learn what to each friend can be called love of friends.
Thank you, this is very helpful, and we read this together as a 10 today. It’s hard for me to reconcile the idea that “there can be friends that come and go on the periphery of the ten” and that we are all equal, but I sense this as a truth in practice because we do have some members on the periphery. This friend was just so dedicated that it’s jarring. We spend a lot of energy trying to make everyone equal, but I understand there are many paradoxes we need to rise above, and that’s the nature of the work.
You’re right in everything. However, according to spirituality, while the friends are with us, they are all equal, because the Creator brings them here right now, and they are irreplaceably special, anc you’re privileged to be in their company, no matter their level of whatever looks to you like their dedication. They are previous. And if they make their free choice to leave, then they go back to beastly life, their Point in the Heart is buried, and they’re suddenly like anyone else.
But while they’re awakened, with us, overcoming their Will to Receive, you have to love their holy spark, respect each one as equal, and do all you can to help them make their free choice right free choice each time.
We still wait for them to be awakened and welcome them back. In the meantime, we continue the work.
I hope this is ok to jump in, Katrina our ten just watched lessons 38 and 39 on how to run a workshop. It was extremely beneficial and it explains how to work internally with the ten and externally with the ten. Here is the link to the first lesson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7ie9D8Lx5U&list=PLA7_REXRV4QhqGNnsHHmAtJmUntDV0JiX&index=21&t=1010s
I highly recommend you watching it.
Yes, that guide is the first 20 articles of Rabash, which we go through the essence of, in the Young Group. But basically, the currency between you is greatness of the spiritual goal. Every word should evoke this.
You’re right that it’s complex because the correction of these relationships leaves one with nothing else to be done in one’s lifetime here.
Hi Gianni,I have got a question about how to direct my commitment towards going to the retreat correctly. I don’t feel any resistance to go. It’s the opposite- I really WISH to go. I really wish to experience the retreat fully, physically . And that desire is totally confusing me. Because at the same time this wish seems totally egoistic and irresponsible considering kids, work, finances.
Now, what is the right intention when making such a decision? I thought if it’s about being there for my friends, it would be good to do what most of my ten does… which is to go virtually… and so I registered for that. But it feels like being there only half-way…. Plus, one member of out ten plans to attend physically. So, I still don’t feel what’s the right thing here.
Hi Gianni
for the degree of coarseness, a couple of questions
1. is it correct that I will become more self-love(scary!) before I can start to be corrected? is that a necessary step in order for me to reach this desperation for correction? and actually it’s a constant spiral? I get worse then I elevate, I get even worse then I elevate again?
2. within the 10, we will probably understand each others behavior(hopefully) and work together, but I imagine this will bring negative impacts to my daily life? how do I minimize that corporeal life impact, as obviously I want to change to be better not to be worse, not just spiritually but also for my corporeal life. not sure if I make sense to you.
thanks!
Hi Gianni, probably my questions did not make much sense, is that why it’s not answered yet? basically I am asking while our desire to bestow grows, our desire to receive all grow at the same time correct? how do I manage myself so my desire to receive won’t affect my loved ones(friends and families) while I continue to use it to build the Kli in spiritual work? thanks!
Hi Helen,
Sorry, I just missed your question.
No, your desire to receive is only revealed. A regular person has an ego that is not revealed so it’s like cancer that hasn’t been diagnosed. It’s causing you harm big-time, but for now you think everything’s great.
This is called “revelation of evil,” meaning the revelation of all that is in me, and is actually destroying all the good in the world. It happens in a way that a person realizes that it was always there but I was unaware of it, like one who has never looked in a mirror suddenly sees their face is dirty.
I think I am a bit lost here…I thought we were to grow the Kli, which is the will to receive but the difference is to use this desire in the direction of bestowing. What does it mean to “grow the Kli”? it means to grow the desire to receive, to receive what? to receive the reforming light from the Creator, not for my own benefit, but to please the creator. so far on right track? if so, will my corporeal desire in daily life also grow on parallel? how do I minimize that corporeal impact? by be more aware of my increasing desires and then control it? it sounds like you are saying my egoist desire will not grow, it’s already at it’s full potential but I am just not seeing it clearly yet?
sorry if you have already answered my question but it am not getting it.
I don’t mind answering many times because it takes time to internalize. It’s like a piece of furniture in the house which I no longer notice: it’s truly like it’s not there. This way, I have very large things in me I don’t even know are there but when I get to know them, I’ll see that they were always there. Or a dark room in which I only see the furniture when a candle is lit. Or I start seeing the furniture but only with a stronger light I see the dirt on it.
So, the desire to receive, we already have. It gets revealed a bit at a time. The spiritual desire is outside me, in the friends. To the extent that I can grow it, in the spiritual group, the desire to receive in me can be revealed and corrected – revealed to the extent that I can correct it, so that it won’t be like placing an obstacle in front of a blind person.
So it’s a matter of perception, whether we say the desire to receive in me has actually grown – because I used to think I was clean and a mirror is held up which shows me otherwise and although I now see that I was always so, nevertheless I now feel dirty and not clean. Or like the emperor who is the only one who doesn’t know he has no clothes, but it’s not the same knowing I’m naked vs. not knowing. So it’s all depends if a person prefers to live a lie – which is better if I don’t want to correct myself – or reveal the truth and correct myself. It will all be corrected when one can’t tolerate lies anymore, and that day will come – but some prefer to wait another day, another lifetime.
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