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The more I learn about altruism and the way of the Creator, the more I see how egoistic I am. And while at the beginning of this course, I felt very “high” spiritually (felt connected to the Creator, was thinking of others first, peaceful mood 99% of the time, etc), now I seem to be the opposite, giving in to every egoistic desire that pops up and being more moody. Am I doing something wrong? Am I perhaps not studying enough? Or is this part of the ups and downs of learning about spirituality?
It feels worse to know all this information and then go react poorly just because someone was rude to me at work or something. I feel like I should know better by now and I feel quite guilty knowing that the person I reacted poorly to is the Creator’s precious creation just like I am.
All that happens when we study Kabbalah is that what we already are is revealed to us more and more. I’m a desire to receive for myself, and there’s nothing else in me. But I still think there is something besides that. A light needs to shine a little deeper and then I’ll see that. And that will be good because there’s an Upper Force that is ready to help me with every little request that is in this direction. But I don’t ask yet because for me there’s no real need. That’s why it needs to first be revealed to me, so I’ll be able to truly ask.
Try not to kick yourself as that doesn’t help whatsoever and there’s no commandment to feel bad. Baal HaSulam writes that the difference between a simple person and a great righteous is in how much of the evil in him is revealed. Everyone else around me feels just fine because all the matter of correction is still concealed in them. This is why Baal HaSulam writes that he is not sorry about the evil that got revealed, but he’s sorry for the evil that remains hidden from view. With what’s revealed I can already tell the Creator that He made me like this, and I demand that he change it.
I have a question about friendships that did not work out in the past. I have learned that all are one in our Creator and that the experiences that I may have treated as unacceptable are a part of my growth from above. How can I connect in this instance with someone I lost contact with through miss understanding and immature perceptions?
I think that if I understand the light in my life, this is an opportunity to change the world around me.
How can I rekindle an old friendship? Kabbalah doesn’t help me do so. To do that there are such obvious means one doesn’t even need Kabbalah. Really, just do it. Kabbalah deals with higher things, how to correctly relate not to some person but to the entire reality including everyone and with them to the Upper Force. Then I’m correct toward the whole reality. And of course I don’t need to be sorry for anything I’ve done in the past since in this all is perfected.
My question has to do with prayer. In kabbalah we know that everything that comes from the creator is good, because the light always want to fulfill us. We doesn’t feel this way due to our limited perception.
But our struggle to feel the ligth may be caused by other human beings who are “as Iam” totally egoistic and unconscious and do harm to others. They ruin the Creator’s made perfect world. Is that possible? I think its not, but I don’t see why.The world set before our eyes is certainly not perfect, it’s broken. Because my perception is broken. Part of that broken perception is how I see others. I see them as bad and broken, but it’s all in my perception. If I correct my perception I’ll see a perfect world.
As we advance on our path and become more aware of the influence of the Creator, how common is it to begin to notice small ‘corrections’ in our normal lives? Before, I attributed this to my subconscious alerting me to things that need attention. Now I attribute those ‘moments of notice’ to the Creator.
If there is none else but the Creator, should I attribute these small mundane alerts of attention to Him? Are these things that bubble-up from from the subconscious sent by the Creator? How can one be sure it is from Him and not from the ego? Often these events seem purely egoistic, but are still pointed toward a path of improvement for my self. I do not wish to delude myself into thinking these are from the Creator when they might be purely my imagination, yet I do not wish to dismiss the Creator as there is none else but Him.
How can we truly be sure the source of these events?
I’m so happy that I “stumbled upon” Kab U and actually feel the presence of and the impact of the reforming light growing on a daily basis. I can feel it when I’m doing coursework and reading materials, etc. I can often feel it when I’m going about my daily business. But (of course) there are still hours that go by when I’m doing the stuff of life and my attention is only on those things. I never feel like I’ve lost connection with what I’m learning, just that I lose conscious connection. Rav Laitman talks about being aware of the upper world and the corporeal world at the same time, all the time. As a beginning student, I’m happy to be somewhat aware ANY of the time. Is there a way to “forget” less often, or to “remember” more often?
How can we know we are actually connected to the Light? Some say they feel it or the fillment and joy. But how can we know it’s not our own imagination
We don’t feel the Light. Or, we can say that we feel nothing but the Light, and it’s everything and everything in our experience, so much so that it’s like an ocean we were born in and thus don’t know we’re wet. We can’t make any discernments of wetness since there’s nothing besides wetness, and similarly, it is illusory to think that some things we feel are the Light and some aren’t. Because it’s all Light and all goodness, because every moment it is leading us ever closer to the goal of Creation. However, we’re not moving towards that goal on our own at a rate faster than the Light is already leading us, which is why we don’t yet feel its influence. It leads us exactly where it wants, and each moment we do as it guides us. To feel it, we need to start going where it’s leading us before it does so. That is, more quickly and consciously toward the goal of Creation.
Thank you, it makes sense 😊
But if we don’t feel it how can we know if we are going to the right direction. Let’s say, even if we are in a group, still there will be a lot of confusion during our interactions. We don’t know what’s good for a person, we got mad with others, etc. We will need something to point us to the right direction
Hi Lora,
There’s no way for a person to remember more often than the Upper Force reminds them – unless I’m in a group. Then, to the extent we awaken each other, we have an internal awakening-system that prods us to think about spirituality.
Looking at the physics aspect of bestowal and reception, altruism and egoism. In the context of prayers, does God really not receive anything from us? I guess it’s just hard for me to understand that because I’ve always imagined a personal relationship with God. And in a personal relationship there is a back-and-forth. For example, think of the relationship between a parent and a child at some point there is growth and maturity in that child where they can have a real conversation with a parent. is the concept here that we are like little babies right now, or even just embryos, and clearly babies and embryos can’t have a conversation with their parents. is the point here that we need to spiritually mature in order to have that relationship with the creator? And then, when we do, is there ever a back and forth? Or is it always a one way street?
It’s hard for us to imagine this, if we’re remaining realistic, but Kabbalists say that it will need to be as though you are with your dear friend, speaking, back and forth between you. Like babies (though we’re still far from that as well), let’s say, like babies, we don’t speak our parent’s language yet, and even if it’s like a mother who knows that this cry means he wants sleep and that cry means he wants food, we’re not talking about the Creator understanding me, we’re talking about mutual understanding.
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