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Yes, I learn from my mistakes always, But when I do something write I can’t remember what I did to do it right again. More like I can remember the bad things in life and understand them, But I can’t remember the good things in my life to repeat it. I questioned myself on why I am like that, Am I holding on to things because I am use it, or is it that it is my nature to be like the way I am.
Yes, I have learned that pain can be “negative” or “positive” according to my finite perceptions. For example an operation is, literally: You finding yourself in a room where you can’t escape, surrounded by people you do not know, all of them masked. Then a specific “masked person” cuts you open (stabs you) and takes a part of your body. The difference between that and being stabbed for real is that, after the pain, you pay the doctor and thank him or her.
Both situations are the same, the difference is between how you interpret what is being done to you. The same thing happens with “reality” It depends on how we interpret it for us to consider the situations as “good” or “bad” but, if we see life in the “upper level” we may see that, even waht we consider “bad” or “negative” helps us to understand that we depend on our Higher Power, and that we depend on the rest of creation to survive, to grow and to become better people.
What I see “out there”, my so called reality, turns out to be a minuscule vision of the vast amount of information that exists outside of me. All I can see is what my 5 sense filters allow in to my brain processor which transcribes the info so my mind can perceive. My perception is also influenced by my previous experiences and expectations , a type of inner filter. So yes, I do feel like reality is a product of my own perception and Kabbalah offers a method to develop a new sense organ of perception which will allow us to perceive a true reality or greater perception.
Sometimes, when I make an effort in desire, my thoughts clear and my mind actually lights up and I can see and feel another level, where everything works like a giant mechanism with an incomprehensible intelligence. As if we were an electron in a huge intelligent body. It’s like a leap in perception and at the same time it’s a very pleasant feeling.
The ancients believed in forces that they called “gods”, they accepted things such as destiny and fate as the only outcomes of decisions of beings they thought were actually real. Plato was said to have said “life must be lived like aa play” and even Dr. Rav Michael Leightman says that, “We must play until we know”. I have often felt that life was on huge picture screen I was just watching, and from a very self centered part of the universe I was simply finishing a movie that had not quite understood the other objects in. I have felt like this since I was around 6 years old. Phycology even teaches us that we have roles in our family similar to that of being in a play, so when i discovered Kabbalah I knew I was on to something that is and probably has been very old in my soul more than just in this body. I am not even very smart, but somehow im remembering many things that relate to this topic even though I barely studied anything on them growing into my age. It truly is a fantastic voyage, but I have some how always felt I was in more of a nightmare than a dream, of causes and effects that were beyond free will and simply part of the movie I started watching long ago when i realized it was actually just that and i was along for the ride until it finished.
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