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The ancients believed in forces that they called “gods”, they accepted things such as destiny and fate as the only outcomes of decisions of beings they thought were actually real.  Plato was said to have said “life must be lived like aa play” and even Dr. Rav Michael Leightman says that, “We must play until we know”.  I have often felt that life was on huge picture screen I was just watching, and from a very self centered part of the universe I was simply finishing a movie that had not quite understood the other objects in.  I have felt like this since I was around 6 years old. Phycology even teaches us that we have roles in our family similar to that of being in a play, so when i discovered Kabbalah I knew I was on to something that is and probably has been very old in my soul more than just in this body. I am not even very smart, but somehow im remembering many things that relate to this topic even though I barely studied anything on them growing into my age. It truly is a fantastic voyage, but I have some how always felt I was in more of a nightmare than a dream, of causes and effects that were beyond free will and simply part of the movie I started watching long ago when i realized it was actually just that and i was along for the ride until it finished.
So this was one of the reasons i choose to study Kabbalah. I came to the realization that this is some kind of a holographic universe in February, i haven’t got any sleep sins than. its difficult to accept this part. Its such a strange concept. i had read a lot about how what you think dictates your reality and who you are but i took it more in some form of a word play that had a bit of truth in it but not to be: the Truth.
I remember coming to the conclusion that everything is exactly the same when I was around 19 years old. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what that internal knowing was. I used to think people who like certain things like the colour red must in some way see it differently from me and that we would never know if that’s truth because as Individuals we were always taught that the thing we’re looking at what is the colour red whether we saw it as blue pink or yellow. That to me made red and blue the same thing and then everything else. This thought used to drive me mental to the point of obsession. Everything is the same. I stupidly learned how to write code as well. You know how everything is the same and there for doesn’t exist until you assign it a value.. I was in class learning code the first time I was struck by the light. Whatever that means. Total mindgasm though… what was the question again? Oh, yes I do think that but it runs a bit deeper then that because we are a part of a collective.
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