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The understanding I have gained from the course so far is that I am a part of God and not separate to God. God is love and I am the love of God. Creation is what completes God. Creation is the revelation of God and Kabbalah is a process of my own self-realization. God (aka the Upper Forces) is solely responsible for sustaining me and providing me with happiness, fulfillment and a growing sense of abundance through the experience of life. My job in creation is to open myself up to the process and fully accept all that life has to offer me so that I can experience these attributes of bestowal and altruism by learning to see love in all things.
I’ve tried to answer this here 3 times and every time I write a wonderful story to try and explain my position in life and why I am so pleased to find KabU all of a sudden when I’m nearly finished it just disappears. Admittedly it’s a long story and I’ve pondered it all week on purpose to get it to make sense. Maybe they did go to you, i hope so. I’m not going to question why it disappears any more, suffice to say, I’ve come to the conclusion my life long search flor answers was never going to be answered until now.
I’ve learned that everything I do is to receive pleasure. It’s hard to except at first but I really can’t find anything to contradict that concept. Even the most altruistic things I do for my loved ones ultimately brings me some kind of pleasure. I guess realizing that makes the idea of receiving not necessarily a negative thing it just is part of the narrative of this life and with the correct intention receiving to bring pleasure to the giver forms a symbiotic union with the giver. The hard part now is wrestling with the idea of being a giver to be a giver and not expect to receive, and at what point are you supposed to have a boundary? What point do you say I’ve given enough to a person who is only taking?
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