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I have no doubt that Kabballah holds authentic knowledge for Spiritual Awakening because I can equate the knowledge to soo much of what I’ve experienced, many death and rebirth cycles, after so many I started to understand them by physical symptoms and animal visits.  The physical was / is a rash that eventually dries up and leaves the skin looking like a snake that has shed it’s skin.  My last visitors which appeared in my bedroom, on the same night, was a scorpion (which shook me to my core) and a beautiful ladybird (which restored my hope), I sobbed and rejoiced and appreciated the messages each brought.  It has been a rough climb.  I’m so grateful for the knowledge … makes me feel less crazy Lol.
I guess I could call it ‘finding relief.’ I feel like I’ve been on this journey all by myself for a long time. I’m so relieved to know that there is a way forward and that the way is not alone. I’ve always sensed a sort of patience from the Creator and feel that I was led to be here, right now. I yearn for inner correction. I feel my imperfections and I accept them as necessary learning experiences. I’m grateful to be here. Thank you to all the instructors. Might take awhile, but once I get through all the Hebrew and download inwardly, all the concepts, I will find the inner comfort that I’ve been searching for, for a long time.
When I watched video 2.1 and/or video 2.2, I began to realize what has been missing from all my attempts to do the right thing and help make the world a better, a good, world. This was always what I felt was what I wanted to do in life, but it never worked. Instead I got apposed at every turn, suspected and disbelieved, even accused of lying and of being evil.
What I was missing was that very fundamental and most crucial thing of all: A direct connection with the Creator, – It’s not that I didn’t believe in Him, certainly not. I always felt His presence and that He was guiding me towards “something”. But I never engaged Him directly because I felt I wasn’t ‘good enough’, I hadn’t achieved a spiritual level that justified me asking Him about anything, and certainly not asking Him to help me. So I just knew He was there, but struggled on my own.
Now I understand how important it is to engage with Him directly, and I know how to do so, and now I also know how to pray.
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When I watched video 2.4, you (Julian) made me chuckle when you said (something like this) “You probably have, or will, ask yourselves: Isn’t the wish to become like Him the greatest example of Egoistic drive that one can think of?”
It made me chuckle because yes, of course I have thought of that. But the answer doesn’t change: We have to work with our Ego by correcting our intentions – and alternatively maintain our already corrected intentions – behind the ego-driven things that we do and aspire to do.
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PS. I apologize for being late once again. This week I have been battling Covid, but I’m finally beginning to feel better. Thank you in advance for bearing with me.
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