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I guess I could call it ‘finding relief.’ I feel like I’ve been on this journey all by myself for a long time. I’m so relieved to know that there is a way forward and that the way is not alone. I’ve always sensed a sort of patience from the Creator and feel that I was led to be here, right now. I yearn for inner correction. I feel my imperfections and I accept them as necessary learning experiences. I’m grateful to be here. Thank you to all the instructors. Might take awhile, but once I get through all the Hebrew and download inwardly, all the concepts, I will find the inner comfort that I’ve been searching for, for a long time.
When I watched video 2.1 and/or video 2.2, I began to realize what has been missing from all my attempts to do the right thing and help make the world a better, a good, world. This was always what I felt was what I wanted to do in life, but it never worked. Instead I got apposed at every turn, suspected and disbelieved, even accused of lying and of being evil.
What I was missing was that very fundamental and most crucial thing of all: A direct connection with the Creator, – It’s not that I didn’t believe in Him, certainly not. I always felt His presence and that He was guiding me towards “something”. But I never engaged Him directly because I felt I wasn’t ‘good enough’, I hadn’t achieved a spiritual level that justified me asking Him about anything, and certainly not asking Him to help me. So I just knew He was there, but struggled on my own.
Now I understand how important it is to engage with Him directly, and I know how to do so, and now I also know how to pray.
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When I watched video 2.4, you (Julian) made me chuckle when you said (something like this) “You probably have, or will, ask yourselves: Isn’t the wish to become like Him the greatest example of Egoistic drive that one can think of?”
It made me chuckle because yes, of course I have thought of that. But the answer doesn’t change: We have to work with our Ego by correcting our intentions – and alternatively maintain our already corrected intentions – behind the ego-driven things that we do and aspire to do.
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PS. I apologize for being late once again. This week I have been battling Covid, but I’m finally beginning to feel better. Thank you in advance for bearing with me.
It’s beginning to make sense. That’s a relief !
What is new & exciting is to be able to accept, now, that my ego is here to stay, that there is no point in trying to suppress it, and that it s based on the desire to do better than someone else. I have been witnessing this in myself recently, and noticing that it causes me to be irritable & critical – which of course is noticed and the same is given back to me. Not pleasant for me, or the Other !
Since this is true for everyone, I may as well stop being critical of myself, since I can now see it from a higher perspective. However, I can only change myself, and although we ve been told Others will change around us, so far, I dont know that, and feel ambiguous and curious as to how I will see others from now on.
So, it seems, my friends, that we are being prepared to begin the group of 10, where we will have a LAB, a place where all this will begin to be recognized consciously. I am guessing that my ego will find it very challenging ! I just hope the point in the heat is strong & will prevail !
1) nothing in our reality is without a purpose of good.
2) Slowly, through our life experiences, we will begin to see that everything comes from a single attitude of someone, this Upper Force that operates on us. This is the point from which the wisdom of Kabbalah truly begins.
3) Love covers all crimes
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