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In the interaction portion of this week, it stated that the creator doesn’t hear our prayers. That bums me out a little bit. I always imagined having an intimate conversation with God, but in reality, it never really happens like that does it. I suppose those conversations are so saturated in egoism that it would never really be possible. In reality, and I kind of suspected this all along, the only single real prayer is an effort made by an individual individual, particularly in the heart, to perceive the creator and implore him to grant the individual confidence in the possibility of attaining spiritual life.
It strikes me (and at the same time makes me feel at ease) that one can study Kabbalah while being embedded in a religion that seems to deny the wisdom of Kabbalah.
Yet, I feel that finding the right environment to develop oneself might become a bit of a burden as long as one remains embedded. I wonder what would be the lessons from kabbalists who where in that same situation.It was very interesting to see Rav Michael Laitman talking about how things can get very dark when we start studying.
When I first studied in 2009, and again in 2013, this happened both times and I quit.
This time, I seem to have popped out on the other side. It feels reassuring that I am on the correct track finally.
I am very grateful.
My big “mind blowing” take-away from this lesson is learning that my ego will block the light at every turn unless I consciously interfere with that process. Only my conscious intention will eventually prevent it from winning all the time. My ego won’t help me achieve equivalence of form with the Creator, no matter how often it tries to trick me!!
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